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Globe and Mail Update

Philip Chow, 18, Vancouver

We have all heard of Tiger Woods, but here is Jungle Jim.
Norm Greenwood

Monkey Business sports a hole-in-one.
Gail Berman, Toronto

Okay I can handle the idea of women playing in the PGA but this is ridiculous, a chimp without a collar!!
Colleen Smith, Victoria, B.C.

I'm not lying when I tell you this Ralph. I never thought being Prime Minister would be so much fun!
Steve Miner

Never use a club that's taller than its member.
Mark O'Meara. Vancouver

"I wonder if the prize money is worth humiliating Tiger?"
Lillian Watters

I don't play myself. I'm Tiger's caddy. (This isn't meant to be racial: chimpanzee, jungle, tiger.)
Robert Findlay

"If I make this birdie, they promised me a banana."
Phil Capobianco, Hamilton

"Erm.. Mr President, are you sure you don't want to use the nine-iron for this shot?"
Sarah McFadden, Sudbury, Ont.

"I could evolve into liking this game"
Gary Goeree, Bancroft, Ont.

Geez- If I make this putt maybe no one will notice I forgot my shoes when I left the zoo this morning.
Brom Hart

"Oh, please, make this a birdie, so that I can get out of this zoo and play on a real course"
Michel Serre, Tecumseh, Ont.

Checking his Wood for Tigers, new golf sensation Monk E. Business prepares to tee off.
Laura King, Mississauga

Silence please! I've got eighty bananas riding on this one.
C.M., Nova Scotia

"This game is 90 per cent mental, and ten per cent mental!"
Bruce Rhodes, Richmond Hill, Ont.

You've got it all wrong. What I said was, "Show me the M-O-N-E-Y"
Mathew Allen, Sackville, N.B.

This little monkey went "Wie, Wie, Wie," all the way home.
David Zinger, Winnipeg