A chick flick for women on doctor’s orders to reduce excitement in their lives, Not Since You is the story of the three sorority sisters – the first two born to be mild professionals, the third a kooky children’s book author – who return to a sleepy Georgia suburb for a quiet wedding.
The writer is a chubby virgin. But fun. Her nickname is Doogs. By contrast, Amy and Victoria have too many men in their lives – two each. And all four show up at the wedding.
That’s where the film is supposed to take off. Amy (Kathleen Robertson) is married to a handsome, kinda dull boarding-school teacher (Christian Kane), but never stopped loving Sam (Desmond Harrington), a handsome, painfully earnest seeker who went to Europe to find himself.
“I’ve spent a lot of time wandering around, being a tourist in other people’s lives.…”
Victoria (Sunny Mabrey) is being fought over by a fiancé and a former boyfriend. This being a romance, Doogs (Sara Rue) meets someone, too – an alcoholic who goes by Fudge (Elden Henson). Friends say he hasn’t bathed since 9/11. Not a great catch, maybe, but hey, chubby 28-year-old virgins can’t be picky.
Not Since You was made in 2009 for Monarch Home Video. We can guess it’s now in theatres to satisfy content requirements – filmmaker Jeff Stephenson and star Robertson are Canadian. But really, it’s a TV movie, safe as milk, with nothing to rattle prospective sponsors. No swearing. One chaste kiss – no probing tongues.
Though competently acted, the dialogue seems lifted from long-ago soap operas:
“You weren’t in love with me. You were in love with the idea of me.”
“I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy for the rest of your life.”
Some films need script doctors. A slow, unconvincing cable-TV movie, Not Since You requires script hospice workers.
Special to The Globe and Mail
Not Since You
- Directed by Jeff Stephenson
- Written by Jeff Stephenson, Jane Kelly Kosek and Brent Laffoon
- Starring Desmond Harrington, Kathleen Robertson, Christian Kane, Sara Rue and Sunny Mabrey
- Classification: PG
- 1 star