Excerpted passages from I Am Ozzy, the unlikely rags-to-riches story of former Black Sabbath crazy man Ozzy Osbourne.
On one of his many early jobs: "I grew to like the slaughterhouse. I got used to the smell, and once I proved myself as puke remover they promoted me to cow killer."
On shooting his chickens because he didn't want to feed them: "It's not [very]easy, catching a chicken, especially when it's getting dark and you haven't slept for 24 hours and you're [impaired from large quantities]of booze and coke and you're wearing a dressing-gown and welly-boots."
On his self-drawn tattoos: "I even put a smiley face on each of my knees to cheer myself up when I was sitting on the [toilet seat]in the morning."
On a memorable visit to rehab: "I got on a plane, drank three bottles of champagne in first class, landed at LAX 12 hours later, threw up, had a few toots of cocaine, then passed out in the back of the limo as it drove me to the Betty Ford Center. I hope this place is relaxing, I thought, 'cos I'm knackered."