I suppose it ill behooves a critic who has been described as weird to get all snooty about a show called Weird Loners. Further, since the critic who is about to do something that ill behooves him is also known to take stand-alone positions, it is doubly wrong.
But enough is enough. Call me weird, call me cold, I've just had it up to here with TV characters whose sole existence is a craven neediness to be accepted, loved and find a soulmate. There are so many shows about people looking for love in the big city. So very, very many. Some, like New Girl, begin as fresh, zippy takes on the main theme. And then, inevitably, become repetitive and vaguely repulsive. They become repulsive because, as happened with New Girl, the comedy descends into crudeness. The sex jokes become coarse and then crass.
Weird Loners (Fox, City, 9:30 p.m.) has, first, a terrible title. One is given to understand that it is meant to be ironic. But, that's no excuse.
The four main characters are, of course, looking for love. The twist, such as it is, involves the age group. These people are in their mid-30s. They've done some living and still they are alone, not in a relationship. We are meant to chuckle at their idiosyncrasies and failed attempts at finding and keeping the right partner. Two men. Two women. It stars Becki Newton as Caryn, Zachary Knighton as Stosh, Nate Torrence as Eric and Meera Rohit Kumbhani as Zara.
Now, in fairness, before the alleged comedy gets under way there's an overture of sorts. A faux-serious voice-over puts it to viewers that the world we live in is a world of couples, but some people are alone. "They often are intelligent, attractive, decent people, but still, they remain alone. Why does love elude them?"
Well, in this case because three of the four are just appallingly immature, self-absorbed blockheads.
Caryn's situation is that she likes a roll in the hay with handsome rogues. That's her type. When a stable, likeable chap comes along she hesitates and opts for the bad boy – sometimes, as we see in the first episode, while both guys are in the same room with her.
Stosh, a salesman who has just lost his job, is Caryn's male equivalent. He hits on every woman within reach. No matter that the woman is about to marry his boss. He hits on Caryn and this causes her to give the brush-off to the nice guy who is all set to marry her. Then she gets mad at Stosh: "You are a selfish, crass, womanizing pig. You are incapable of being nice to someone unless there's something in it for you." This is true, but before long she's taking another, more smouldering look at Stosh.
The character Zara is introduced when she is walking out on her live-in boyfriend. It seems she got bored and decided to sneak out without telling him. She's an artist of sorts and dabbles in New Age quackery. She is the sort of person that, after meeting once, you'd cross the street to avoid in the future.
The one and only "weird loner" is Eric, who has spent most of his adult life taking care of his elderly father. A sweet-natured guy, not really socialized, he ended up a loner because he chose to fend for someone else. The others are merely selfish, irresponsible thirtysomethings who reap what they have sown.
There's nothing funny about Weird Loners. Perhaps two funny scenes in the two episodes I watched. Oddly, no character on the show appears to be aware of this thing called the Internet, which offers online dating sites. Now that kind of ignorance is funny, but in the bad, bad way that this comedy is funny-awful.
I have nothing against romance – I almost swoon watching Outlander. But I've had enough of lovelorn weirdos, thanks.
Also airing Tuesday
The Dovekeepers (CBS, Global, 9 p.m.) is a two-part miniseries, continuing Wednesday (on CBS; Saturday on Global), and based on the novel by Alice Hoffman. It's about the siege of Masada, when a Jewish community revolted against the Roman Empire in the year 66 and took over the hilltop fortress of Masada, which had been built as a vacation retreat by Herod. The executive producers are Mark Burnett and his wife, Roma Downey, who also brought us The Bible miniseries, and it is directed by Canadian Yves Simoneau. It's your Easter/Passover programming.
Tuesday also brings the season-finale episodes of The Rick Mercer Report (CBC, 8 p.m.), This Hour Has 22 Minutes (CBC, 8:30 p.m.) and Schitt's Creek (CBC, 9 p.m.), which tells us the NHL playoffs must be at hand.
All times ET. Check local listings.