Harder," she said. "Hard, hard!" No, honestly, she did.
It was only midafternoon too. And it went on for hours. A fella could go weak at the knees. Women's curling, my friends - sexiest thing at the Olympics. You can have your Lindsey Vonn, ouchy-shin and all. You can have your Tanith Belbin. (American. Ice dancing. Don't get me started.) Check out the women's curling. Tuesday's Canada-Switzerland matchup was thrilling. A tense, tricky 5-4 victory for Canada.
As I write this, Cheryl Bernard and her dead-cool Canadian team are doing battle with the supersmooth, just-watch-me ladies of Japan. Women's curling is the business. Watch it and you'll enjoy a multitude of fine women shouting, "Harder!" and in a variety of languages too.
In taking this view, I kid you not. And I'm hardly alone. The Brother has been on to me from Vancouver where, as he says, "Serious Olympics watching begins with women's curling. Have you seen Team Sweden? Eva Lund can shift the rocks any time she likes. I'm there. The best thing about the women's curling is it lasts for hours. Feet up with the schnapps and the cheesy bread from Domino's Pizza, I'm your happy brother."
Indeed. The Brother and his cronies - some of the lads from his old digs are now ensconced in the tree house in Vancouver with him - have long recognized the primacy of curling as the great Canadian game. "One of the lads, Brinsley Mac from Sioux Lookout, explained curling to us in the glorious year of Salt Lake 2002," the Brother said. "And we were, as you would say, intrigued. We took an old Christmas cake that one of the lads' mom had sent to him, but he refused to eat, and, after we stuck the handle of the cold-water tap into it, we had a rock. We practised curling outside on the road. There wasn't broom left at the Home Hardware 'cause the lads bought them all. It was a magic."
The Brother also points out - fairly, I think - that amid all the sniping at the glitches and problems with the Vancouver Games, one major story has been missed. The skip of Switzerland's women's curling team, the great Mirjam Ott, had her shoes stolen on the way to Vancouver. Shoes matter in the curling game. Last week, some no-goodnik broke into the team van in Winnipeg (the team was there to watch the Swiss men's team) and among other things, stole Ott's backpack, which contained her team trousers, shirts, jacket, shoes and gloves.
"A national disgrace," the Brother says. "Never mind the thingamajig column not rising up in the opening ceremonies. Never mind the mild weather in Whistler. It is an abomination that the shoes of a curling legend were stolen in Canada." He has, by way, sent apologies on behalf of all Canadians to the Swiss team and invited them over for schnapps. "I wouldn't mind having the entire Swedish team over too," he added. "Just in case they're reading this."
While the Brother awaits a reply from the Swiss and the Swedish ladies, I gave him an assignment. Asked him to go online and check out sites with the title "The hotties of 2010 Winter Olympics Vancouver." It's his kind of thing. He reported back that he had duly surveyed three such sites. All the photos, dutifully.
And the result? Not a single female curler listed. Get with the program people. And all you media types. Looking for the good-looking? Try the women's curling. Try harder. Harder, I tell you.
Tasered (CBC 9 p.m. on Doc Zone) is a documentary that examines the 10-year anniversary of the taser. As we await more information and decisions about taser use here, it points out, among other things, that in the decade since tasers were introduced, they have been adopted by police departments in 45 countries and about 15,000 police forces worldwide. Also, it says, every day about 500 people are tasered. And, in 43 U.S. states, civilians can buy a taser in retail stores or at sales parties in their own homes.
Crash & Burn (Showcase 10 p.m.) ends its season tonight. The most underrated Canadian series in recent years, it's been a triumph - a hybrid of wit and grit, a crazy journey into the insurance racket. Anyone who has watched has seen the life of messed-up Jimmy (Luke Kirby) unravel as he tried and failed to tie his criminality together with his job in the insurance game. Tonight, big decisions are necessary. Hope the series returns and gets the admiration it deserves.