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With his flashy suspenders and thick New York accent, Lou Schizas seems as if he just walked off the trading floor on Wall Street. As an equities analyst, Schizas knows his stuff, but on the road he could use a refresher course.

He's in luck. We're on a makeshift track at Downsview Park in Toronto. But this is no ordinary course; it's a BMW comparison drive for customers. Schizas, along with two dozen others, will test drive the 3-Series sedan against the competition – a Mercedes C300 4Matic, an Audi A4 2.0T quattro and a Lexus IS250 AWD – and potentially learn some driving tips along the way.

The two-hour lesson begins with an in-class session, a quick lap with an instructor to get familiar with the route, and exercises, which include evaluating body roll at a constant speed and engaging the ABS system in an emergency situation. Then, it's off to the races.

Schizas first takes the wheel of a diesel BMW 335d. He drives slowly and cautiously along the curves.

“You can tell everybody I'm a bad driver. I don't care. I have no need for speed,” confesses Schizas, probably best known for his former TV gig on Business News Network. Nowadays, he's the business analyst on AM 640, a professor at Sheridan College, a contributor to the GlobeInvestor.com website as well as having his own website, www.happycapitalism.com .

Deep down, I'm relieved he's taking it slow – I've spent too much time feeling queasy as a passenger in test cars driven by speed-seeking, risk-taking journalists. Too bad the course instructors don't share my sentiment.

Schizas nears the end of the course; he's supposed to accelerate quickly and slam the brakes hard. He reaches half the speed and gently applies the brakes. An instructor nearby says, “I think you could slam those brakes a little harder! … I'll give you 100 bucks if you can break the brakes on the next one!”

“Nah, I got more than enough money,” Schizas says with a laugh. “I'm a safety freak. I don't need to get mashed up. The faster you go, the higher the risk.”

His next spin is in a regular 335i. He takes the same pace, reaches the end, applies the brakes, but fails to engage the ABS system. Chief instructor Pierre Savoy shouts from afar. “Harder! Harder!”

He approaches Schizas. “We're trying to get people to try their ABS before they need it. A person buys a new car and they never try all these systems and one day they need it and they get scared because they make noise and vibrate.”

Schizas's response: “But I've already done that on the road. I know what happens in an emergency, slam on the brakes and pray to God!”

Savoy joins us on the next lap. This time, we're in a 328i. Savoy sits in the passenger seat, instructing. Schizas follows the commands, but the big test is at the end – the braking exercise.

Savoy shouts: “Full acceleration! Floor it! Floor it! Hold. Hold. Hold. And brake. Full brake.” The ABS system kicks in and the car grinds to a halt.

“That was awesome,” says the instructor from the sidelines. Schizas responds, “Where's my 100 bucks?” He's told, “You had to break the pedal.”

Now it's time to take the competition for a spin. In that short time, Schizas has grown more confident and comfortable behind the wheel. He drives faster with each vehicle and passing lap.

“You get in a car with Pierre and all of a sudden you want to go fast,” he laughs. “It's interesting. I don't know if I'd ever put my property up against the competition like that. Me spending money to put you in someone else's car. I don't know if I'd do that.”

But it seems to have worked. Fellow student Stan Dimakos used to drive a Bimmer and switched to a Lexus IS250. He compares it to the 3-Series after a few laps. “I don't think [the Lexus is] well set up for aggressive driving. It's more of a comfortable, around-town kind of cruiser.

“I think BMW is good and better handling. The 328 had the smaller 16-inch tires, so coming through you had more body roll. But the bigger 335 or even the diesel has the bigger wheels and handled better.”

BMW has achieved what it intended to do – sell cars. Dimakos plans on dumping his Lexus for a BMW. “One of my leases is coming up in a few months – yeah, I think I'll go back.”

But the experience is not enough for Schizas to switch; he'll stick with his used 2001 Nissan Sentra. But he does have a favourite of the bunch. “They're all wonderful vehicles. … I like the diesel the best because of the fuel efficiency. It's quiet. I think the handling is great.

“I liked the technology of the diesel because I think that's the future in the next few years.”

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The contenders

BMW 335d ($49,700): 3.0-litre, inline-six-cylinder, twin-turbo diesel; 265 hp and 425 lb-ftBMW 328i xDrive ($42,500): 3.0-litre, inline-six-cylinder, twin turbo; 230 hp and 200 lb-ft

Mercedes C300 4Matic ($44,900): 3.0-litre, V6; 228 hp and 221 lb-ft

Audi A4 2.0T quattro ($45,000): 2.0-litre, turbocharged, inline-four-cylinder; 211 hp and 258 lb-ft

Lexus IS250 AWD ($37,650): 2.5-litre, V-6; 204 hp and 185 lb-ft of torque

Lou's Pick: BMW 335d

pgentile@globeandmail.com