The reportedly imminent transfer of tall, lanky striker Peter Crouch from Liverpool to Portsmouth is … perfect!
Crouch, six-foot-seven and certainly not what you'd call graceful, has scored goals wherever he has gone in his career. He battled for room in the Liverpool set-up last season, but still bagged 11 twine-jobs in just 31 games across all competitions.
The funny thing about Crouch? Ever since his rise to the top of the English game, his presence in big games seems to embarrass as many people as it impresses. The many odd and awkward ways his astonishing height claims ground in opposing penalty areas leads many critics to outright dismiss him.
And yet, in many a huge game – England's late and desperate 2-0 victory over Trinidad and Tobago in the last World Cup – it is Crouch's nose for goal that ultimately saves the day.
I've often felt the sheer number of goals he has scored for England – 14 in just over two years – actually works against him. Something in the collective English psyche is happy to have all those goals, but feels uncomfortable that such a clumsy-looking player has scored them.
The fact that the ball fairly rockets into the net when Crouch gets all of himself behind it – doesn't seem to matter much. English soccer feels bad about itself, and oddly sees Crouch's bountiful harvest as proof that huge overhauls to the national program are desperately needed. Too strange, in other words, to possibly be this good.
… Which isn't a bad working definition of Portsmouth football club.
Pompey – fun to watch and current holders of that not-inconspicuous trophy, the FA Cup – are unfashionable outsiders who simply don't care what anybody thinks of them. To have savagely underrated goaltender David James at one end, and the lengthy windmilling legs of Peter Crouch at the other?
Brilliant.
Crouch will always find ways to make even fans who adore him shake their heads in puzzlement. But he scores. He plays the game like no one who ever lived, and can look appallingly strange out there. But he scores. He also has a huge heart, good sense of humour, and is refreshingly untouched by all the times he's been written off as a player who does everything wrong – but who also scores.
In Portsmouth, free of the endless critical knocks and roster challenges every “Big Four” player must face, he should be free to go for goal any blessed way he wants. Oh, and he'll be in familiar territory, too. The 27-year-old original banged home 19 goals for Pompey back in 2001-02.
A great move for all involved. I'm really looking forward to seeing how this looks.
Onward!
