Well, well, well. It would appear that Bernie Ecclestone, pint-sized Formula One maven and inadvertent Andy Warhol impersonator, is selflessly holding out on confirming a deal to bring the Canadian Grand Prix back to Montreal in 2010 (after a one-year absence) over legal technicalities aimed at protecting F1's interests.
The "technical detail" in question?
A clause that would, ahem, specifically state that not a farthing of the $75-million Ecclestone stands to pocket from the various levels of government over the five-year duration of the GP contract will be taxable federally (per La Presse's scoop today).
According to various other media reports, the London-based Ecclestone has also set a firm deadline this week to ink a deal, or else Montreal can forget about the race and the $80-million it is claimed the event brings in economic spin-offs.
Now, we understand that you may view our protestations with a jaundiced eye - what with French Immersion LLC being a Channel Islands-registered shell corporation with nebulous ownership - but it seems to our crack staff of fiscal experts that perhaps Wor Bernie is reaching a bridge too far with his tax avoidance strategy.
Good luck selling it to a minority federal government.
Maybe we shouldn't be too hard on a man who is reportedly staring down the barrel of a $1.7-billion divorce settlement with the statuesque former Mrs. Ecclestone (do her solicitors know about this Canadian caper?)
And with car-makers like Honda and BMW pulling out of the F1 game and Toyota making distressed noises - so says our auto racing expert Jeff Pappone - the financial storm clouds are growing darker over the circuit.
Besides, not paying taxes is a rich-guy privilege the world over.
Most importantly, the kerfuffle over Dear Bernie's compensation provides just the flimsy pretext we needed to reheat our favourite police blotter item from the last couple of weeks, which involves an old Ecclestone acquaintance and has drawn scant mention in the national press.
Alain Creton, colourful owner of Chez Alexandre - the chic Peel St. binerie and Grand Prix hotspot - reached an out-of-court settlement last week over an unseemly spot of sexual harrassment allegations.
Creton, who has frequently hob-nobbed with Ecclestone and other F1 luminaries, was accused by a former waitress in his establishment of sidling up and allegedly ordering: "faites-moi un bonbon" (in this case, the plaintiff contended, "bonbon" was used in the "oral sex" sense of the word, which doesn't appear in French Immersion's dog-eared copy of Le Petit Robert, but that's quite beside the point.)
According to testimony before Quebec's human rights tribunal, the waitress in question replied, crossly, "j'ai-tu l'air d'un hostie de bonbon, tabarnak?" (loose translation, "do I look like a friggin' bonbon, you idiot?").
To which he allegedly said "tout se paie dans la vie." ("there's nothing in life you can't buy")
Creton has hotly denied the allegations, and his legal beagle took pains to say the (sealed) settlement involves no admission of guilt.
Okay, then.
Perhaps we might mention that Creton is a long-time pal of former Gomery Commission prevaricator Jean Lafleur - the now-penniless ad agency owner of sponsorship scandals past - and helped him out with a job in Alexandre's kitchen.
He can often be found there chopping vegetables.
And according to our spies in the venerable establishment, intriguing Montreal nightlife figures like former political femme fatale Julie Couillard (whose dalliance with the since-disgraced Maxime Bernier was born just up the street at Cavalli) have lately been seen perched at the resto's onyx-topped bar.
All of which has absolutely nothing to do with Bernie Ecclestone, we mention it merely in the interests of shedding light on the amazing interconnectedness of Quebec's social circles.
Think of it as a public service.
