The fire hydrant located at 393 University Avenue in Toronto: He’d vote if he could. Why won’t you?Darren Calabrese/The Canadian Press
Earlier this year, on Aug. 18, we tentatively endorsed a fire hydrant for mayor of Toronto. This particular hydrant, conveniently half-hidden from the view of drivers on University Avenue three metres away from the curb behind a concrete planter, produced $300,000 in parking-ticket revenue in six years, all by itself. As we said at the time, "This is the candidate that would have it all: a proven track record of generating revenue without raising taxes; an unassailable commitment to the well-being of others; and a stolid, reliable character that has prevented it from ever missing a day's work or sticking the beleaguered public with the bill for a late-night dinner."
Sadly, no one heeded our plea to "give that heroic fireplug a good deodorizing, slap a tie around its thick neck and insert it into the municipal election campaign." The hydrant remained out of the race. We were left to find another candidate to endorse, but thankfully there are at least three on the ballot promising, hydrant-like, to generate revenue without raising taxes, one of whom we quite liked.
It's too late for the fire hydrant now – today is election day – but not too late to still take inspiration from its dependable civic character. Ask yourself: What would the hydrant do on voting day? The answer is simple: Nothing. It's bolted to a heavy metal pipe buried deep under concrete. But you aren't – even though it seems that way. The turnout in the last Toronto municipal election was 53 per cent. In Vancouver, where the municipal election will be held on Nov. 15, the turnout in 2011 was 34.6 per cent. In Winnipeg last week, where Brian Bowman was elected mayor, turnout was 50.4 of eligible voters. In Montreal last fall, the turnout in the election of Denis Coderre was 43 per cent.
The fire hydrant has a fixed address that is a little too fixed. It wants to vote but can't. Canadians can vote for their council members but don't want to. Only one out of two, at best, will bother this fall. The hydrant says, That's not good enough. The hydrant says, You get what you vote for.