She's best known for her impersonations of Céline Dion and Liza Minnelli.
Actress and comedian Jessica Holmes helped revitalize the CBC's Royal Canadian Air Farce. Nowadays, she's back on stage, in Ross Petty's Robin Hood, which opens tonight. She'll be driving to the premiere in her 2009 Toyota Yaris hatchback.
When it comes to cars, the mother of two demands a new car every four years to prevent her family from going through the same ordeal she did as a child.
"Cars were such a low point in my childhood. When I was growing up, my parents always had these completely atrocious used cars; and I don't mean used five years old, I mean used 15 years old.
"Some days the car just wouldn't start, in which case my dad would just call in sick to work and then we'd hang out at home and watch movies all day long.
"These cars were so old and they were always brown. You never knew where the brown paint stopped and the rust started.
"One car was so bad, if you peeled back the mat on the floor, you'd see the road underneath. When you'd take a sharp left turn, the right passenger door would fly open. I'd be screaming my head off! It was a car of terror," says the 36-year-old native of Ottawa who now calls Toronto home.
Even holidays conjured up horror for Holmes. "One Christmas morning, we packed up the car and we were singing Christmas songs and the bottom of our car fell out!
"The muffler and all the bits from underneath fell off and were scattered all over the street. We spent Christmas Day on that street gathering up our car parts and going to the mechanic's."
When she tied the knot with her husband, actor Scott Yaphe, there was one caveat: "When I married my husband, I was like, 'You can cheat, you can lie, you can do whatever you like, but you can't ever bring home a jalopy. We'll have a good life together if you don't bring home a jalopy - that's where I draw the line.' I didn't even care what we got. I just needed something that's very easy to park."
So Holmes leased a Yaris. "It's an easy car to park because it's two feet long. It's a bit hilarious when my husband drives it because he's 6-foot-5," Holmes says. Yaphe's own vehicle is a Ford Escape.
"We didn't even drive a lot of cars. We sat in a lot of cars and if his head was bent forward so his chin was touching his belly button, then we're like, 'Okay, not that one.'
"What's surprising about the Yaris is it's actually a tall car, so it's good for tall people. My husband fits in it - it just looks a bit silly," she laughs.
But the Yaris isn't perfect - she'd change a few things. "The horn … Someone cuts me off and I'm raging angry inside and I honk my horn and it sounds like a clown at a birthday party.
"It's embarrassing. I know the people in the other car are always laughing. Old cars have better horns," says Holmes, who is writing a book of comedic anecdotes called I Love Your Laugh, due out next fall.
Holmes got her licence on the first try driving a big old brown Chevy. "I will quote the person who gave me the exam, I barely passed, and he didn't say it with a smile," she recalls.
"When I took the driver's test, I was asked to do a three-point turn. When you're driving some giant old Chevy that was 20 feet long, it was ridiculous trying to manoeuvre it around.
"Ask me to take my driver's test again in the Yaris and I can do it no problem," she says confidently, before confessing: "When I'm driving, it's not my proudest moment. I never took driver's ed.
"My dad taught me to drive and his main thing was when you're going over a hill, gun it so you can feel it in your stomach. He thought driving was about having a great time."
Holmes doesn't rehearse behind the wheel, but she does find other forms of amusement. "When other drivers are going too slow or too fast, we put music to them. We give them a little sound track.
"We start humming a really fast song for people zooming along. If they're in a really slow one, we mime the slow-motion conversation that the 95-year-old in that car is having. Or we mime an angry conversation in a car that's out of control," she laughs.
Her husband uses the Yaris as a retreat, too. "I've caught my husband hiding out in the car if it's been a long day and the kids are driving us nuts.
"He's like, 'Oh, I just have to run out to the store,' and I'll see him sitting in the car half an hour afterwards just relaxing. At least he's not hiding out in the bathroom for an hour at a time."
Holmes says she will keep the Yaris for the entire four-year-lease and then dump it for a brand new car. "I don't care if I have to sell my house and move to a bachelor apartment and raise my children in it - if that is what we have to do to always have a new car, then that is what I'll do."