Prior to last week, I had never owned nor driven a minivan, for the same reason I've never worn Hush Puppies.
In addition to image concerns, I've always considered anything that big to be the kind of vehicle Satan would drive – at least if his Hummer were in the shop.
As a result, my unfamiliarity with such a vehicle – and just where did the word "mini" come from? – gave me a built-in excuse for failing a recent Canadian Automobile Association driving skills test.
Well, maybe not failed – there were no lives lost and no lawsuits launched, at least not yet. But I did not fare as well as I expected in testing my ability to reverse-park, do a three-point turn and execute the granddaddy of all driving skills: the parallel park.
To be honest, I can't blame the minivan for all my shortcomings.
The point of this exercise was to illustrate the importance of driver training and remind motorists that driving is a skill and, like all skills, requires some brushing up. After attempting these manoeuvres in a nearly empty parking lot, I can say: point made.
Most drivers of a certain age have been on automatic pilot for some time and have forgotten some of the basics – such as checking blind spots and driving with at least one hand on the steering wheel.
Of course, when it comes to parallel parking – the basics are anything but basic.
If I remember correctly, you pull ahead of the spot until you are even with the driver's door of the next car, back up using a formula involving the length of your car divided by the team batting average of the 1971 Montreal Expos and then follow the natural progression from there.
That's why most people would rip off their own heads or read a Stephen Harper speech before they'll attempt parallel parking. They'll drive around looking for a parking lot, then take a cab back to their destination to avoid doing the parallel thing.
So I can rest knowing that at least I still have the ability to do it – that is if you don't count the barely noticeable tire mark on the curb. Executing a three-point turn was fairly simple by comparison, though I did manage to forget the basics of signalling while doing so. Maybe it was the lack of traffic or maybe the fact that signalling while performing such a manoeuvre was something I'd simply forgotten, like my alleged promise to clean the eavestroughs last fall. Brushing up on the basics wasn't the only thing achieved on test day. I also learned a few new things.
For one, it's safer to back into a parking space in a parking lot because it's easier to see where you're going when you exit. However, I'm not convinced this is always the case.
Anyone who's ever driven in a shopping mall lot – especially at Christmastime – will tell you that having limited sightlines is still a lot safer than backing into a spot and holding up other spot-seekers, even those who aren't armed.
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