We've all complained about them - and they exist everywhere - but no one has ever actually met one in person.
I'm talking about bad drivers.
Think about it: Have you ever talked to anyone who admits to being a terrible driver? I don't personally know any. Ditto for my friends, family, co-workers, mild acquaintances, near strangers and hated rivals. We all shake our heads at the appropriate moments when discussing the rules of the road. Everybody loves to gather 'round, transfixed by someone's terrifying tale of near highway horror - but who are these anonymous idiots wreaking havoc on the road? If everybody understands how to drive properly, why is it so insane out there?
As Kitchener, Ont., talk radio host Gary Doyle said a couple of months back, "If everybody out there drove as well as I do, we wouldn't need car insurance."
Truer words have never been uttered, my friends. Deep down, every driver alive believes that.
I know I do.
So without further delay, here are - on the heels of the original list - five more driver habits that really grind my gears:
1. Merge Lane Morons
It's a simple task, one that is all about going with the flow. To make a proper highway merge you have to get your vehicle moving at the same speed as the traffic into which you wish to join, look for your spot, signal (don't forget the shoulder check) and move to the available opening. Instead, we are subjected to slow-crawling drivers who 1.) don't signal and 2.) believe it is their god-given right to come over, whether an opportunity exists or not. Even worse are those loogans who, upon being rewarded with an opening by a kind driver, don't recognize the opportunity and brake, eventually coming to a complete stop at the end of the merge lane. Oh boy.
2. Blinker Bozos
Sadly, it's all too common that many drivers change lanes without any thought given to using the turn signals. However, even more puzzling are those drivers who engage the easy-to-use informative device only after they've started the lane change - usually about three-quarters into the task. Sometimes even once the change is completed - just to make sure we understand what their intentions were. Thanks for that. We appreciate it.
3. Son of Blinker Bozos
Ever drive down a road and notice, eventually, that your turn signal is still on - for who knows how long? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Those of us around you can tell you because you've been driving us crazy, not knowing if you actually are planning to change lanes or not. Not to mention just how closely you must be paying attention.
4. Aural Bumper Thumpers
Maybe I'm just becoming the cranky old fart I swore I never would be, but really, do I need to be subjected to your bad taste in music - jacked to the hilt - at every red light?
5. Green Gold Diggers
What is up with all the nose pickers? Do they believe that they are protected by some sort of invisibility cloaking device the minute they enter their vehicle? Hello, we can see you. Now stop it.
Related contentFive driver habits that really grind my gears
What bad driving habits really grind your gears? Let us know by posting in the Comments below.