A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
S&P/TSX COMPOSITE - STAR
Things you probably regret doing:
1) Paying to watch any movie starring Adam Sandler;
2) Purchasing anything with the Maple Leafs logo on it;
3) Selling your stocks when the market was plunging on Monday.
Just when it seemed all hope was lost, stocks staged a powerful rebound as oil prices jumped, China intervened in its markets and the U.S. economy grew more than expected in the second quarter. Sell! No, buy!
S&P/TSX, 13,865.07, up 391.40 or 2.9% over week
CIBC - STAR
Penguin No. 1: “A cheque! Sweet!”
Penguin No. 2: “Where are you going?”
Penguin No. 1: “To the bank.”
Penguin No. 2: “But you don’t have to. I just made a bundle on CIBC’s stock, which soared after profit beat expectations and the company raised its dividend.”
Penguin No. 1: “Let’s go out for crustaceans!”
CM (TSX), $96.34, up $8.30 or 9.4% over week
FITBIT - DOG
Thanks to the Fitbit, I can tell you exactly how many calories I burned writing these words (less than one) and when I got up to make a sandwich (another four). If you really want to see some calories getting burned, watch how quickly investors are running away from Fitbit’s stock: The shares plunged after research firm IDC said the Apple Watch has already captured 20 per cent of the wearables market, right behind Fitbit’s 24 per cent.
FIT (NYSE), $33.80 (U.S.), down $4.85 or 12.5% over week
CRUDE OIL - STAR
There once was a substance called crude
Whose losses were really quite rude
But as short sellers covered
The markets discovered
That all of the bears just got screwed
WTI fut. (Nymex), $45.22 (U.S.)/bbl. up $4.77 or 11.8% over week
BEST BUY - STAR
Laptop computer, smartphone, tablet, scientific calculator, pens, pencils, paper – back-to-school shopping lists sure have gotten longer since I was a kid and had to walk 20 kilometres through the snow to school and back – uphill both ways. But you won’t hear any complaints from Best Buy: Shares of the electronics retailer soared after it posted a bigger-than-expected jump in second-quarter sales and earnings. Kids today – so spoiled.
BBY (NYSE), $35.97 (U.S.), up $5.79 or 19.2% over week