A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
Smith & Wesson
Which of the following statements is true?
a) Guns don’t kill people, people kill people
b) Take away guns, and people will still find a way to commit mass murder
c) The solution to gun violence is more guns.
Well, if you’re the NRA, it’s all of the above. But with president Obama aiming to tighten gun laws and protesters disrupting the NRA’s press conference on Friday, sentiment appears to be turning against the firearms industry.
Research In Motion
Christmas with RIM: A one-act play.
Dad: “Kids, I have some bad news. Christmas is cancelled.”
Kids: “What!? Why!?”
Dad: “Because Daddy stupidly put all of his money into Research In Motion stock, just before analysts downgraded it.”
Mom: “That’s okay, dear. Mommy took out a massive short position. Christmas is still on, kids!”
Kids: “Yay Mommy!”
You might say Uranium One investors are glowing with happiness. Shares of the company, which mines the raw material used in nuclear reactor fuel, soared after Japan’s pro-nuke Liberal Democratic Party won a convincing majority in Japan’s lower house of parliament. With the LDP campaigning on a promise to restart reactors shut down following the 2011 tsunami, Uranium One investors could be smiling for a while.
Herbalife claims its nutritional supplements help people lose weight. But this week, the only thing slimming down was the company’s stock price. Comparing the multi-level marketing company to a “pyramid scheme,” activist investor Bill Ackman disclosed that he has an “enormous short position” and accused Herbalife of overstating its retail sales. The company dismissed his claims as “bogus,” but judging from the stock’s steep selloff, some investors think Mr. Ackman may be on to something.
Maybe it was the Mayans cashing in their gold before the world ended. Or, more likely, it was investors locking in their profits to avoid potentially higher investment taxes in 2013, or selling out of fear that the U.S. will head over the “fiscal cliff.” Whatever the reason, gold touched its lowest level in nearly four months and finished the week down about 8 per cent from its October high. For gold bugs, Christmas will be anything but merry.