A humorous look at the companies that caught our eye, for better or worse, this week
Research In Motion
Market rumours about RIM that have absolutely no basis in fact: 1) It plans to change the last letter in its stock symbol to a P; 2) Its newest device will be called the BlackandBlueBerry; 3) In a strategic shift, it plans to become a dominant player in the global doorstopper market. What is true is that RIM expects to post a first-quarter operating loss, is gearing up for more layoffs and has launched a review that could lead to asset sales. It’s also true that the stock got thumped this week.
If you’re at a dinner party and people start complaining about the markets, a good way to cheer them up is to tell them that you put all of your money on IT services provider CGI Group, whose stock jumped this week. “You could see CGI’s takeover of Logica PLC coming. It was a no-brainer,” you could say. “I don’t want to brag, but I haven’t made that kind of money since I shorted Nortel.” It doesn’t matter that you didn’t do either of those things. The important thing is that you’re trying to cheer people up.
Dow Jones industrial average
That old saw “sell in May and go away” that everyone loves to scoff at? It’s not looking so ridiculous now, is it? The Dow’s 6.2-per-cent plunge in May was the worst monthly performance in two years, and with U.S. employment data coming in well below expectations and the euro zone threatening to spin out of control, June also got off to a rocky start with the biggest one-day drop in six months. Look on the bright side: If you sell now, you’ll beat the rush in May, 2013.