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Are you a fool in love? Dealing with a tricky relationship problem? Not sure what to do next?

Globe Life advice columnist Claudia Dey will be online Thursday at 2 p.m. ET to offer her words of unbiased wisdom.

Submit your question for Ms. Dey now.

Ms. Dey's column, Group Therapy, appears in Globe Life every Thursday. She's offered advice on every thing from pushy mother-in-laws , to workaholic husbands , to platonic affairs .

When she was born, Ms. Dey was declared a soothsayer and a bartendress of the soul. Much of her childhood was spent keeping other people's secrets and when in need, building them life rafts out of advice. Older now, she aspires to be a northern Ann Landers — sans pearls, avec cigar.

Ms. Dey writes plays in her spare time. Her works, Beaver, The Gwendolyn Poems, and Trout Stanley, have been anthologized, translated into French and German, staged across Canada, and once in the former Communist headquarters of New York City. They have been nominated for the Governor General's Award, the Trillium Award and the Dora Award for Outstanding New Play.

Editor's Note: globeandmail.com editors will read and allow or reject each question/comment. Comments/questions may be edited for length or clarity. HTML is not allowed. We will not publish questions/comments that include personal attacks on participants in these discussions, that make false or unsubstantiated allegations, that purport to quote people or reports where the purported quote or fact cannot be easily verified, or questions/comments that include vulgar language or libellous statements. Preference will be given to readers who submit questions/comments using their full name and home town, rather than a pseudonym.

M from The West Canada writes: My husband[AMP;]#8217;s family has sent him emails attacking me and our marriage. I saw a few when I looked at his email. He has since received more, but refuses to share them with me because he believes they are personal correspondence, intended for his eyes only.
I believe that any emails received about me and/or our marriage should be shared between us in order to allow an honest and open relationship. What do you think?

Claudia Dey: Dear M from the West, How did you make your initial discovery? It reads as though you were burrowing into your husband's private affairs.

Despite their virtual presentation, one's emails are as weighted and tangible as one's private letter box tucked and dust-coated under one's desk. They are a personal record of correspondence - negotiations, confessions, discoveries, dismissals; our passwords are the equivalent to bronze keys strung from our necks. So, dear M, how did you access this secret domain?

While I do agree that a discussion about your husband's family and their vituperative emails is pending - and part of an 'honest and open relationship' - I worry your presumed trespass contradicts this wish for honesty and openness or at the very least serves only your end of it. Why did your husband not come to?

You must work together on this one. Apologize to your husband for prying. Tell your him you trust his approach and would like to support him. Ask him what you can do to resurrect peaceful relations with his family; they are a crucial part of his life and you wish to respect the rare role they play. Essentially M, take on the burden of reparations while allowing your husband the space to articulate what he must to his family.

Yes, this is awkward. It requires patience and surrender - two of the more difficult qualities to muster when under siege. But, it reflects your single priority: your love for your husband - and its constant communication. All effort must stem from this love. Through it, you will repair whatever noxiousness has occurred with his family.

You are, with this approach, protecting yourself from further meanness. How? Because frankly, M, there is nothing to criticize here. Your motives are sound. If the meanness continues, it is their bad habit - not yours.

D from Hamilton Canada writes: I am a 33 year old male who has been striking out in the search to find a girl friend (wife) and to have children and live a happy life with my happy and healthy family. I have only been in two relationships in my life time which have lasted 2 month each. I ended them both as they were not going in a path that I could see being a long term relationship. The first was just a physical relationship and the second was one that our interests were not as similar as we initially thought. I have joined the Its Just Lunch dating service for a year and have been on numerous on-line dating services which have lead to over 300 dates in my lifetime. A lot of those dates have been enjoyable and lasted 2 to 3 hours each but only 4 times have they ever meant a second date (two of those being the relationships I mentioned above). I am a guy who is often referred to as a 'nice guy' and has a great deal to offer any partner. I am an active guy who is in good shape and cares about fitness, enjoys the outdoors, has directed goals in life, is caring, trusting, dependable, sincere and genuine guy, and can carry on in a conversation for a few hours as referred to in the dates above. When I reflect on what I bring to the table and have discussed it with closest friends, it has become quite depressing as the frequency of the dates has also diminished. How do I get past the dismal dating record I have had and go about finding my wife to be and have kids (either my own or step kids) and achieve what I truly believe is a measure of someone's quality of life ... having a happy and healthy family and an amazing wife to share in life's experiences with. Thank you Dave

Claudia Dey: Dear D from Hamilton, You are one of the good ones. And like anything truly rare - the black swan, the black tulip - you may be just slightly more difficult to discover or apprehend.

Do not despair. First, try to relax your accretion of statistics; abandon the numbers game; leave that to the athletes as an accurate measurement of performance.

Second, focus on your present experience. Continue to date and to make good conversation and be all of those wonderful things you listed about your self - continue to be those things with abandon and appetite. And while being all of those wonderful things, appreciate the person across the table for whoever they are.

Now, here is the advice and the adjustment: resist the urge to pin that person up against your vision of the future. This is like painting by numbers. It takes all of the spontaneity and creativity out of an exchange; also, staying-inside-the-lines perfection is impossible. This approach makes for too much pressure - and, more damning, too much disappointment.

Dave, in your letter you hint toward that scurrilous question: I am still single. What is wrong with me? The answer, sure and gold-lined: Nothing. Now, go forth. And while, I have no official psychic powers, if I did, I would venture: Your wish will come true.

A from Toronto writes: I'm running out of steam. I am in my late 20's and I am currently living with my two young children and my boyfriend of 3 years. Although not their real day, my kids call him 'dad' and he has been a great father to them. HOwever, he has no ambition...well at least with his career, he has this dream of what he wants to be but is doing nothing to get there. He's currently working part time but his hours keep on getting cut and his lack of taking initiative to do something about it is wearing me down. I've told him over and over the past few years that it bothers me and he needs to get his act in gear but the situation is still the same and repeating its self. I want to stay with him as I love him and in part for the kids sake as well but I can't keep going on like this. What should I do?

Claudia Dey: Dear A, It is exhausting to watch someone spin their wheels. Most irksome, someone who has potential and makes promises to reflect that potential. You are left with dust and smoke. Your boyfriend's hubris: he does not convert. This is a stubborn way of going through the world. And like gambling, like French cigarettes, it is a grievous habit to break

You have tried. You have (when given the rare combination of privacy and energy) had the same conversation countless times and after this conversation reignited your dwindling belief in him. Now, after years of the same refrain, you find yourself unable to do that. You are not alone. The other figures in his life are also raising the white flag; his hours are being cut - when he already works part time.

You have two young children. You have bills and responsibilities. You have said nothing of yourself and your own ambitions. But, is this a possible scenario: might he stay home and care for the children while you work? You say he is a good father to them - and so I will presume his 'lack of initiative' does not extend to the children and they would be safe and engaged by his presence.

My guess is this scenario has already been considered and, at his insistence, he is still chasing the elusive ghost of his career. A next step: propose couples' counselling so that you can arrive at a solid plan together. Rather than having that tired discussion you could have (and probably do have) in your sleep, get help from a third party. Get guidance as a family.

My impression is that the relationship is worth this last effort. You love him and he is a good father to your children; these are crucial considerations. As you are doing, keep mining the good in him; Does he cook dinner? Take the kids to daycare? How does he help you - and is there a way of formalizing that help into a structure you can both rely on and take pride in. You have to find a way both your expectations can be met.

F from Toronto writes: What do you suggest a person does if someone they're interested in is not consistently responsive? Sometimes they answer messages right away, other times they wait a few days. It's very frustrating! Do I read this as lack of serious interest? This isn't a person I'm in a relationship with but we have been on several dates. Much time passes between each date and it's this sort of cat and mouse game, but she always ends up wanting to go out again and that seems to satisfy me enough to go through the cycle one more time. But I'm starting to doubt if she's actually interested. Or just having fun.

Claudia Dey: Dear F, Yes, of course it is frustrating when your desires are not being matched; you are left feeling stranded in a puzzle.

As your suspicions have told you, it indicates a lack of serious interest. You have a few courses of action. You can muster your courage and with the puffed chest and nimbleness of a matador ask her how she wants the relationship to evolve. Try to strip away your emotions and instead present the curiosity without great weight - even playfulness. She is not responsible for your happiness. You are.

Or, you can infer from her delayed responses that she does want to see you as often as you would like to see her. You could, before returning to the broad and unpredictable world of romance - again with puffed chest - tell her that you would like to date other women; is she comfortable with this scenario? Perhaps, this second approach will propel her to examine her seriousness - or lack thereof. The most important point Dear F, direct your affections wisely.