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Sharing the kitchen with a domestic associate can be as intimate as eating from the same plate.

Cooking together is a dance -- sometimes badly choreographed.

But it's an important skill to practice: Nothing makes guests feel more awkward than feuding hosts.

Here are a few suggestions to make sure the only thing that boils over in front of company is a pot of water.

Determine who is in charge. In every kitchen, there is only one head chef. The chef has the vision, has developed the menu and is putting his/her reputation on the line. ("What a delicious meal" is always directed to the one in charge.) Depending on the meal, this role may change (he owns the barbeque and breakfast, I handle most cooking and baking).

Establish whether you are a team player or solo artist. Be honest about whether you welcome help or would rather chop alone. A sous-chef can be a helpful time saver and enjoyable company -- but you have to relinquish control and allow for your spouse's creative liberties to play a part in the meal. If you have accepted help, keep your cooking advice to yourself. And if you've shut your spouse out, don't start barking orders when you hit the crunch.

Be aware of each other's styles and systems. The orderly clean-as-you-go philosophy does not mesh with the make-a-grand-mess-clean-later approach. Set ground rules ahead of time. A calm environment will set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Divide and conquer. Be clear about tasks: "I set the table (or else I'll end up resetting the table) and do last-minute touches and presentation, you set up the bar and make iPod playlist." One cooks, the other cleans up (a wonderful theory). Stick to your domain, trust the other person to handle his/hers and don't cross the line.

Get two sets of tools. Don't give your sous-chef the cheap pairing knife that came free with the frying pan. If you cook together frequently, it's worth investing in two good chef knives (these can handle 90 per cent of your knife work) and wooden cutting boards. It also helps to set up your individual workstations -- all you need is your own piece of counter, a garbage bowl, knife, board and other necessary tools.

Come together as a united front. Before guests arrive, take a taste to ensure the meal meets dual approval. And enjoy a glass of wine -- you've accomplished quite a feat. Remember: Those who cook together (or are at least wise enough not to) stay together.

Trish Magwood is the owner of dish cooking studio in Toronto (http://www.dishcookingstudio.com) and the host of party dish on Food Network Canada.