This is a joke, right? Some elaborate ploy by Exxon to make Al Gore and his global-warming cronies look like fools? At least that's my theory regarding these endless, crocus-intimidating snowstorms. But whatever the cause, enough is enough. It's time for a beach.
Still, there's no reason to compound the snowbird cliché. California, Florida, Mexico and Cuba all have fine beaches, to be sure. But come on, we can be more original than that. Herewith, the best sandscapes in the world to help you forget that March is now a winter month:
Praia da Barra (Barra Bay), Mozambique Except for you Victorians – Why are you even reading this? Don't you have some daffodils to frolic through? – you've suffered through more than one blizzard, so don't settle for just one beach. Jill Salt at Hike Africa (www.hikeafrica.co.za) is offering a new nine-day traipse along the entire southern coast of this very beachy country just north of South Africa. On the continent's eastern, Indian Ocean coast, Barra Bay is only the most scenic of the scores of beaches you can stroll along.
Kendwa Beach, north Zanzibar Mind you, hiking may be a little too reminiscent of your morning slog to the sidewalk. In which case go a little north to Zanzibar, just off the Tanzanian coast. Well known in the area, but practically free of travellers from around these parts, the whole island is one big crystal-blue, white-sand-lined oasis for the seasonal affective disordered. And while most beaches suffer from a bit of low-tide syndrome, making the walk to the water's edge unpleasantly long, not so Kendwa: Located on the northwestern tip of the island, the beach also has a 24-hour bar and Wi-Fi.
Patara Beach, Turkey A fan of irony? Then how about a beach vacation in the place where Santa Claus was born? That's right, St. Nick was born on beachfront property. This Mediterranean stretch of sand is 20 kilometres long and usually pretty much deserted, as the village of Patara has only a couple of hundred spots for tourists – even though, with hotel rates in the $25 range, this beach is cheap. As a bonus, the area is ancient and Biblical. Paul of Tarsus and Luke changed ships here (Acts 21:1). There are ruins, too, but why take away time from tanning.
Cua Dai Beach, Vietnam
Thirty kilometres long and as much as a third of a kilometre wide: Now this is a beach. You can walk along it all the way from the UNESCO Heritage Site of Hoi An to the port city of Da Nang. Though not unknown to the Vietnamese and the people who travel among them, this beach is so big it never gets crowded. If you decide to sit on one of those empty loungers, though, don't be surprised if someone comes along to ask you to buy a pineapple or a drink – it's the price of a sit. (I recommend you go with the pineapple.) And because you demand more from your beaches than sand and surf, this one comes with about 50 tailors within walking distance, just in case you've worn out your parka this winter.
The Lido, Venice Let's say you want to go to the beach but your boyfriend thinks beaches are for people who read Nora Roberts. Then take him to Venice. While he wanders through the Hotel Des Bains, where Thomas Mann set Death in Venice, you can sit or stroll along the beach like Tadzio, taking in the vapours while sneaking peeks at the latest airport bestseller.
