I take it back. The food at Watermark isn't all "crap," but I still say this restaurant is a disappointing tourist trap.
As regular readers may recall, I first visited the Kitsilano Beach concession-stand conversion shortly after it opened in 2005. Back then I wrote: "On the surface, this new $7-million restaurant is a mind-blowing stunner. But once you taste the crap coming out of the kitchen, the sheer waste of it all makes you want to cry."
Three years later, our lady of the lido looks more like the scandal-weathered Duchess of Cornwall: slightly improved, tolerably legitimate, yet still far too mucky ever to dazzle the masses.
If this venture were an entirely private affair, I would respectfully step aside. But now the Vancouver Board of Parks and Recreation, head over heels with the revenues of commercialization, is charging ahead with its plan to develop another restaurant on English Bay Beach.
At a meeting last month, board members unanimously approved design drawings for a casual two-level bistro - with 75 indoor seats, outdoor seating and a takeout kiosk - to be built on the seawall next to the bathhouse.
Public input is being courted (an open house to discuss the proposal will be held on June 12). And if all goes well, the board will soon be putting out a call for applications. The lucky permit winner, similar to the owners of Watermark, will pay for the construction of the building and hand over a percentage of the restaurant's yearly gross sales in lieu of rent.
The shared arrangement looks like a win-win situation for everyone - except, of course, for diners with functional taste buds and anyone concerned about the city's culinary reputation.
Thus, it was with the wider community's vested interests in mind that I made reservations for a return visit. The hostess said she couldn't guarantee a patio table but promised to make a note of our request.
We arrive on Saturday night with plenty of time to soak up the sunset. There is no note next to our name, nor any vacant seats on the patio. Fortunately it doesn't matter. In warm weather, the garage-style windows are rolled wide open, turning the entire dining room into one big outdoor deck.
The chic minimalist cabana, designed by architect Tony Robins, boasts one of the best views around. It would be the perfect place to recline with a cool cocktail and let the gentle breeze soothe the tight sting of sunburn - if only the cocktails weren't so slow to arrive and so watered down.
"Whoa, that came out fast," our waitress exclaims, as she sidles up to apologize for a backup at the bar and finds us already digging into a bamboo basket of rock salt prawns ($9.95).
The crunchy crustaceans are tossed with toasted garlic, chili and green onion. The crispy wok-fried shells might not be to everyone's liking, but I think the crackling texture is toothsomely addictive (and a vast improvement over the doughy dumplings and gummy chili smelts I've tried here in the past).
Bread is an organic potato baguette, served piping hot at no extra charge. So far, I'm impressed.
The drinks finally arrive. My friend's Pimm's lemonade ($6.75) is a zesty garden in a glass, albeit loaded down under an avalanche of ice. I think I spy a tiny sprig of mint at the bottom of my mojito ($8.50), but can barely taste the rum.
Black n' bleu albacore tuna salad ($14.95) is a good idea gone awry. The five thick slabs are seared on the outside, rare in the middle and stuffed into a half-head of iceberg lettuce. The fish would be quite nice if it weren't macerating under a smear of apple-soy vinaigrette, which has the gooey texture of baby food and ruins the whole effect.
