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Eric Hine joined two Facebook groups at the same time last year, knowing full well that his long-time girlfriend would insist that he immediately quit the one called "I Love Boobs."

But his membership in that group was simply a ruse to distract his love from the other club, which is called "Say No to Engagement Ring Woes," and features discussions about the daunting financial and emotional demands often involved in modern marriage proposals.

"I don't think anyone resents giving someone a ring - it's just the fact that there's sometimes unrealistic expectations around it that just aren't responsible," said Mr. Hine.

"And then you get the whole, 'You don't love me if you don't spend this,' or 'You're cheap.' "

The 31-year-old Vancouver video game producer now runs the Facebook group.

Its original founder - a friend - was forced to resign by his own girlfriend.

In January, Mr. Hine became engaged, with plans to wed his fiancée in July, 2009, even though she is still less than impressed with the tone of the club.

"Women today are asking for ridiculously priced engagement rings," the group's manifesto reads. "I've seen girls turn up their noses at $10,000 rings Join this group to change social stigma. This absurdity has to be wiped off the face of the planet."

As wedding season begins in earnest this month, thousands of glittering rings will be shown off across the country to ear-splitting squeals of delight. But the glare of so many carats might blind these brides-to-be to the rolling eyes of their fiancés, and the fact that the tradition has more to do with commerce than compatibility.

"Modern advertising and the ring are very much linked together," said Elizabeth Pleck, the co-author of Cinderella Dreams: The Allure of the Lavish Wedding. "It used to be more optional rather than an absolute necessity."

But diamond engagement rings today are seemingly non-negotiable, with many men like Mr. Hine feeling pressure to shell out big bucks before taking to bended knee.

In their book, Ms. Pleck and her co-author, Cele Otnes, note that "the key to increasing the diamond trade was persuading the average man that buying a diamond engagement ring for his fiancée was both a necessity and a luxury and that the ring represented proof of his love."

If the ad campaigns of diamond merchants set the tone for today's princess-cut standard, then modern celebrity culture has wholeheartedly embraced the idea that one ring must rule them all.

Tabloid magazines and celebrity television shows obsessively scrutinize women's ring fingers, and opine about the emotional message of every stone.

When Mariah Carey became engaged to Nick Cannon, tabloid magazines went ballistic upon noticing that her ring bore a striking resemblance to one the entertainer had given his former fiancée, Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, and branded his proposal a "regifting."

Six-figure rings are gushed over, while rings deemed unimpressive - like Carmen Electra's ring that reportedly cost "less than $2k" - are interpreted as ominous signals of future heartbreak.

Over recent years, women have also been taught to take a pro-active role in selecting the diamond of their dreams.

"These days, a woman can have plenty of input, whether by opening a magazine to a certain page and placing it just so in a well-seen spot (hint: try under the remote) or by outright volunteering to go shopping," suggested a recent issue of Martha Stewart Weddings, its cover doused in bling.

But for some couples, placing so much emphasis on an accessory leads to nothing but heartbreak.

In April, a blind British man named Bryan Monaghan was sentenced to life in prison for killing his fiancée after he discovered she was not wearing her engagement ring.

In March, a man named Lefkos Hajji put a $12,000 engagement ring in a helium balloon as part of his elaborate proposal plan, only to see it blown away by a gust of wind.

"She went absolutely mad," he said of his girlfriend. "Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring."

And in Pennsylvania recently, a man pleaded guilty to stealing a $47,700 ring so that he could propose to his girlfriend, who he admitted to his lawyer was "way out of his league."

Mr. Hine said he knows men who have similarly reached beyond their means under pressure to provide the perfect ring.

"I know people take out loans," he said. "I have a friend who was saving for a house for 10 years and he took 80 per cent of that and bought a ring with it."

Mr. Hine proposed on Jan. 21, his fiancée's birthday, and said he put a lot of thought into the style and presentation of the ring, although it was still affordable.

"The tradition is still nice, I think it's very romantic," he said. "But I don't think anyone needs to spend a lot of money."

But if he had proposed to his fiancée without a ring, Mr. Hine says, her close friends and family may have been upset, worrying that he was not capable of taking care of his bride.

"To me that makes a little bit of sense, like you're not putting in any effort," he said. "I think it prompts a bit of a protective instinct from friends."

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What a man wants

A woman gets a nice ring with a big rock, but should a man get an engagement gift, too? Something he could really use, like an engagement TV?

Bilal Nadeem, 26, is getting married later this month. He got an engagement ring from his fiancée - but wasn't wearing it yesterday, saying men just aren't used to jewellery.

"It's so weird to actually wear one," Mr. Nadeem says. But, he added, rings are symbolic, and couldn't really be replaced by a stereo or set of golf clubs.

"No jewellery, no ornamental stuff," said Michel Blondeau, 45, who'd prefer cash for clothes and shoes. "Shoes make the man," he said.

Richard, a 37-year-old unmarried man who asked that his last name not be used, said he wouldn't want a TV, but maybe a promise of a room in the house to himself.

Kyrylo Lobach, 22, said he'd want a watch or something he could wear - such as, yes, a ring - and keep with him.

"It's the thought that goes into the present," he said.

At the end of the day, it's up to the woman. Lee de Hooge, 28, whose left hand sags under the weight of a ring, said her husband bought his own gift - a 58-inch TV - right after their engagement.

"He knows there was no way he'd get that in the house without putting a ring on my finger," Ms. de Hooge says with a laugh. She bought him an engagement Tissot wristwatch, too. But, she said, "I definitely needed the rock first."