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The question

I've been working in the publishing industry for years, and have worked with all kinds of writers: academics, eggheads, lots of brilliant, interesting people. I've never let a working relationship become personal.

But a few weeks ago I was approached by a very charming writer, and the sparks seemed to fly. As time went on, our e-mails became increasingly flirty, and the line between business and personal kept blurring - and, I admit, I made some very encouraging noises about the possibility of him getting a contract.

Then, after one boozy business dinner, he wound up back at my apartment. The sex was great and I want our personal relationship to continue. But after revisiting his pitch the other day, I decided to pass on his proposal.

Now he's threatening to tell my boss about our affair, and claims that I led him on. Is there any way to smooth things over personally and retain my professional credibility?

The answer

Let's back into this a bit and say, first of all, unless you screamed out "I'd love to publish your book and give you a six-figure advance!" in the throes of passion, you're under no specific obligation to do so.

Even if you did, you're probably still in the clear - unless, of course, you shook his hand as you said it. Handshake agreements, many discover to their horror, are legally binding, as are e-mails.

But somehow I don't picture you two shaking hands, and as for all the rest of the stuff you got up to at your apartment, serious as it may have seemed at the time, it in no way obliges you to publish this dude's book.

And he's a grown man, right? Among adults, work is work and sex is sex, and when we mix them up we all take our chances - including him.

Have you not asked yourself whether this guy was batting his eyelashes at you with extra vigour in hopes of landing this gig? The fact that he was willing to threaten you suggests to me he's more interested in getting into your catalogue than in your pants.

In fact, this guy sounds like he's gonna be just fine. If I were you, I'd stop worrying about his feelings and start worrying about mine.

Now, if you're saying to yourself, "Dave, no, I don't believe it. It was so beautiful and he was so gentle, he likes me for me, I know it, I feel it," I understand and empathize. We all like to think we've still got it and everyone loves us for us.

Sometimes I hate what a cynic I've become.

But cast your mind back to when you were young, hungry and ambitious. You would've done anything to succeed, right? So it may be here. Be tough, and careful, in your dealings with this fellow.

All in all, I would say that the sooner you remove the work component from this situation the better.

If he is in fact a talented writer, he'll get a contract elsewhere.

And if you two were meant to be, a little thing like a publishing contract shouldn't come between you.

Finally, I wouldn't worry about your boss finding out. Presumably she's worked in the publishing industry long enough to just roll her eyes and say: "Writers!"

David Eddie is an author and screenwriter. He has published two novels, Chump Change and Housebroken: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad.

damage@globeandmail.com