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It's a good thing the Balenciaga runway show last week sewed a floral seed in fashionistas' heads: Previews of costume designer Patricia Field's vision for Sex and the City: The Movie have Carrie Bradshaw in a garden of garish patterns, not to mention peculiar silhouettes, punk accessories and - quelle surprise - sky-high heels.

Photos of the Manhattan production are circulating online, and from what we've seen, this movie has flop written all over it - from a rabbit-eared neckline to a droopy chapeau. Samantha is looking less stylish than overstyled, Charlotte's duds are dull and Carrie is still drowning in quirk. And everyone is suffering from a serious addiction to belted waists.

When you're talking about a film that has as much potential to direct spring trends as the Milan and Paris collections, that's as worrisome as letting Pippi Longstocking into your closet.

The movie starts with, well, we don't know how it starts. Plot details are scarce on what adventures await the ensemble cast (played by Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall and Kristin Davis).

We do know that at one point the gals stroll arm-in-arm down Madison Avenue, wearing their smiles like old hats. They're in front of shoe boutique Walter Steiger (pray tell, what happened to Louboutin and Blahnik?).

Charlotte (Davis) looks like a hybrid of Jackie O. and Katie Holmes in her precious Upper East Side white dress and oversized glasses. Carrie (Parker) sports a white vest and trousers with a pink shirt and black cravat - a gender-bending outfit softened by big hair and peep-toed pumps. Miranda's (Nixon) metallic dress shows that the lawyer has a luxe side and Samantha (Cattrall) has gone head-to-toe red in a belted power suit seemingly inspired by 1980s Thierry Mugler (It bag candidate No. 1: a patent red Fendi). Her hair post-chemo is lovely and full of lusty possibilities.Then winter comes. As Carrie steps through snow, her hair is a dreary mousy brown and her look du jour is an odd pairing of a lumberjack coat, argyle knee socks, fuchsia-striped scarf and strappy - possibly YSL - stilettos (It bag candidate No. 2: a metallic Chanel).

Along the way, Carrie gets an assistant, played by Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson. The actress has gone from American Idol contestant to Dreamgirl to Vogue muse to this. It's clearly a demotion, and it's reflected in her clothes. Going boho - trench coat, fringed back, purple plaid boots - is not as flattering as going glam.

At some point, something big appears to happen (proceed to the next paragraph NOW if you don't like spoilers): Carrie can be seen wearing a Vivienne Westwood wedding dress with turquoise feathers in her hair - but she's not exactly a bird of paradise. At least her elegant entourage has been spared bridesmaid misery by couture gowns - non matchy-match - worthy of a John Singer Sargent portrait.

Unfortunately, the clothes are, once again, wearing the women. (Although it is not as bad as the scene where Carrie wears a floral dress, the skirt of which can best be described as a tulip on top of a pencil.)

Curiously, the only one spared such outrageousness is Miranda, who, for once, looks smoking hot. Has motherhood finally made her embrace her womanly side? Did she leave law and learn to relax?

Shawn Hewson, a judge on Project Runway Canada (airing on the Slice network), agrees that she's the sole exception to the sea of silly style. "She looks modern and chic, but Carrie's cute and flamboyant look is like flogging a dead horse. I would have thought she's outgrown that by now." (Incidentally, one shot captures her carrying Vogue's popular Age Issue).

Sarah Jessica Parker now dresses better than her character, Hewson says. "Carrie has gone nowhere."

Perhaps Field's kookiness, which looked so fresh on cable, does not translate onto the big screen. Think back to the Devil Wears Prada: No one could understand why Anne Hathaway's character looked like she had been attacked by Karl Lagerfeld.

Sure, these are costumes and there's no need to restrict the characters to Gap basics (Sarah Jessica Parker attempted that in real life already). And fine, fashion is a fantasy. But people are eager to buy into the fantasy too.

Go ahead and see the flick, but approach the ensembles of the ensemble cast with sartorial skepticism. And if you have some money left over after the movie ticket and the popcorn, we do recommend It bag candidate No. 3: an Eiffel Tower-shaped purse already available for sale on Field's website ($375).

It's a totem of a city where the women are timelessly chic and the kisses are more legendary than the sex.

*****

Wardrobe wonders

Drapery dresses

Skirts that look like they've been fashioned from curtains suggest to fans that they can recycle their fusty upholstery and be on trend.

Shocking shades

From flowers to accessories, red and fuchsia are a love match on the set thus far.

Little beau peeps

No matter the season, toes are poking out of killer pumps.

Knee highs

On two occasions, Carrie has been snapped wearing hosiery that stops shy of her hemlines.

Svelte belts

The belted waist is now as indispensable as an It bag.

Amy Verner