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Between the book launch wait lines and extended Halloween costume hunts, being a parent of a Harry Potter fan has always required a hefty commitment.

But after J.K. Rowling revealed Friday that one of the series' most beloved characters, Dumbledore, is gay, there may be one more to-do item for Potter fans' parents: the sex and homosexuality talk.

While it may provoke some anxiety, Dumbledore's new gay icon status presents a "teaching moment" that parents should seize, experts say.

With more children being raised by same-sex parents in communities across Canada, more kids are learning about two-mommy or two-daddy families earlier. Still, parents are often caught off guard when the subject comes up.

"Kids are always going to throw questions at us before we're ready," says Julie Freedman Smith of Vancouver's Parenting Power, a parenting consultancy.

The key to addressing the question, the former teacher says, is to find out exactly what they're asking before giving a long-winded answer.

Generally, younger kids will want to know how relationships work, while those heading toward puberty may be looking for more information on sex.

When a toddler asks how a baby is made, for instance, an elaborate discussion of sex isn't necessary. They may just need to know that you didn't swallow the baby and that it's in a different part of mom's abdomen, Ms. Smith says.

"Rather than answer the adult question, answer the child's question," she says. "Then see if they want more."

And if you're at a loss for an age-appropriate answer, don't be afraid to say, "That's a good question - I need to think about how to answer that."

When you do answer, try to establish a few basic facts. If you're discussing a lesbian couple, you can talk about a woman who loves another woman, for instance.

But a child may want to know if she is also gay because she loves her best friend. That's a time to distinguish between "a friendship kind of love and a grown-up kind of love," Ms. Smith says. "Use Cinderella as an example. It would be like Cinderella falling in love with another princess."

Older kids will likely want more information about sexuality. But even here, family therapist Michael Ungar says, it's likely that Dumbledore's newfound status will ruffle parents' feathers more than it will their older kids'.

"Young people today are much more hip to this issue than one or two generations ago," says the social work professor at Halifax's Dalhousie University.

His kids, 11 and 14, participated recently in an anti-bullying campaign after a boy was picked on at school for wearing a pink shirt, an item that to some has homosexual overtones. To show support, fellow teenagers held pink shirt days at various schools across Nova Scotia. "It's in the news, it's in the culture. They're already thinking about this stuff."

Some academics and therapists are already using the Harry Potter series as a metaphor for gay kids finding a place they belong. Rachel Epstein, co-ordinator of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Parenting Network at Toronto's Sherbourne Health Centre, says she's heard of Harry Potter being used as a metaphor for adoption, too.

Ms. Epstein says the Dumbledore news is a positive event to centre a conversation on. "Sometimes when you know someone and then you find out he's gay, it can be helpful in creating perceptions," she says. "He's such a well-loved character - wise, compassionate and loving."

Same Sex 101
There are a number of children's books which explore sexual orientation (written for ages 4 to 8), including:

Mini Mia and her Darling Uncle
By Pija Lindenbaum
When Mia gets to know her uncle's new boyfriend, she realizes that three isn't necessarily a crowd.

And Tango Makes Three
By Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson
True story of two male penguins in New York's Central Park Zoo who share a nest, adopt an egg and raise a penguin daughter.

Heather has Two Mommies
By Leslea Newman
This is a classic about a preschooler with two lesbian mothers.

One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dads
By Johnny Valentine
Two children conclude that people are basically the same -- regardless of skin colour and sexual orientation.