ZOSIA BIELSKI
From Thursday's Globe and Mail Published on Thursday, Jan. 08, 2009 1:35AM EST Last updated on Thursday, Apr. 09, 2009 9:51PM EDT
Much has changed since Alex Comfort wrote The Joy of Sex in 1972. True to the era, no politically correct filter tamed the doctor's writings, from encouraging couples to bed their friends in “moresomes” to doing it on a rattling train car. And with sordid descriptions of virgins and praise for the expertise of prostitutes, Dr. Comfort's pleasure manual also made some women cringe. In revising the tome for a postmillennial audience, author Susan Quilliam had a lot of sanitizing – and sensitizing – to do, as excerpts from the two editions reveal.
Virginity
JOY 1972: In the 18th century a girl was disgraced if she didn't bleed … on her wedding night; most modern lovers would reckon not to make her bleed at all unless she asks to be “deflowered” in the good old-fashioned way. Even then, unusual anatomy apart, it shouldn't hurt her more than it hurts a vain young miss to get her ears pierced.
JOY 2009: She's more likely to have a less than positive first-time experience; he'll probably get off on the symbolism of having done it, while she may fail to get off full stop. Any regrets can be eased by realizing that this is normal – only about a third of women report enjoying the event – and by realizing that one's literal first time isn't necessarily the important one. Breaking the hymen is one thing, meaningful and joyful sexual initiation is quite another. She can choose to see the former as simply a practice session, with her real “first time” being first arousal, first orgasm or first love.
Foursomes and Moresomes
JOY 1972: There is no reason why stable couples shouldn't make love in each other's company; whether or not they exchange partners is a matter of preference. … Since friends already swap hints on sex it seems natural to demonstrate, and one can learn a lot by watching, apart from the turn-ons from other people's excitement.
JOY 2009: - In general, society backs the norm of private sex between two partners, anything else being regarded as an exciting adventure, an act of folly or a total betrayal.
- In the context of couples, there's often lopsided motivation. One wants to and suggests it; the other says yes so as not to displease; in short order, jealousy creeps in, then the whole thing implodes. There is a good deal to be said for keeping it all in the realm of fantasy; if you do go further, negotiate, build in opt-out clauses and even so expect complications. It is, however, one of the most popular fantasies for both sexes and its advocates claim it sidesteps the deceit that standard infidelity involves. (The idea of free love that involves group orgies, on the other hand, is a different issue, usually an attempt either at social anarchy or “rooster in the hen house” syndrome.)
Sex while travelling
JOY 1972: Railways are an old and favoured site – this means, of course, the old style wagon-lit or roomette. Whether it's the motion and acceleration or the association with love on the run that provides the turn-on isn't clear; it used to be fashionable in the classier Parisian and Viennese bordels to have a compartment fitted up, complete with train effects and noises, and vibrated by a motor and cams. Since it is probably the motion which scores, choose a hard couch, and a winding track with numerous intersections and switches. In emergency, there is just room for an upright in the washroom.
JOY 2009: More usual nowadays – and also dependent on washroom use – is sex on planes. Otherwise known as the Mile High Club – whose founder, Lawrence Sperry, once emerged naked from a crash landing in water along with his female passenger; the ensuing headline read Aerial Petting Ends in Wetting. The rush with air travel may be down to the vibration, the lower atmospheric pressure increasing orgasmic intensity or simply the illicit nature of it all. If desperate and unwilling to go the washroom route, one can work wonders with wandering hands under strategically placed airplane blankets and a tolerant cabin crew.
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