Judges in Canada are now omniscient parents, willing to practice tough love, even though the plan they rely on to help the children has no longitudinal studies to prove that it works.
In cases of parental alienation, judges are prepared to step in and decide what is right for the children, against their wishes and those of the custodial parent, with whom they may have lived for many years.
That was the upshot of the case reported last week in which an Ontario judge stripped a mother, a 42-year-old chiropodist known in court documents as K.D., of the custody of her three girls, aged 9, 11 and 14.
The news gave hope to many divorced parents, who often give up in the face of their ex-spouses' campaigns to excommunicate them from the lives of their children.
It will still be a long and expensive fight. The father, a vascular surgeon identified as A.L., waged his legal battle for 10 years, and the trial alone would have cost about $250,000 plus $100,000 in expenses, legal experts say.
But the decision points to the severe consequences for the alienating parent.
"There is a greater understanding that the courts really hold the power to rescue the children from the situation of being caught in the middle," says Richard Warshak, a clinical psychologist in Dallas, Tex., and author of Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex. A leading authority on parental alienation, Dr. Warshak runs a family workshop to help alienated parents reunite with their children. It was cited in the case last week as the resource to be used for helping the children and their warring parents.
"The Canadian courts are in the forefront," Dr. Warshak says.
Toxic exchanges between divorced parents are not uncommon. But the term parental alienation is used when the custodial parent systematically poisons the minds of the children against the other parent.
The language used in the courts highlights how damaging the problem is now considered to be. In the recent judgment, Madam Justice Faye McWatt wrote that the mother's "unrelenting behaviour toward the children is tantamount to emotional abuse."
A clinical child psychologist, Barbara Fidler, who had been involved with the family for several years, testified at the trial.
The judge also severely limited the mother's access to the children. Ordered not to harass them or go within 300 metres of them, she can see them only in the context of counselling. The father was granted the power to confiscate the girls' cellphones and any other communication devices to prevent their mother's interference. He also has the right to whisk them out of the province and the country to get counselling.
The victory comes after much frustration. The courts want to give parents several chances to do the right thing. In the case between A.L. and K.D., who was described in court documents as lacking in credibility, parenting plans and visitation rights had been mandated over the years - with poor results.
Aside from waiting for the slow wheels of justice to turn, parents must also allow child psychologists time to properly assess the situation.
"There are some cases of what we call realistic estrangement," Dr. Fidler explains. "The alienated parent may be abusive, and the child has good reason for not wanting to visit. And then there is true pathological alienation, in which children are refusing contact without good reason. ... It takes time to figure out what kind [of estrangement] it is and how severe it is."
