Your boss has been desperately trying to get pregnant, and there's no doubt she's got your full support.
But one day, she tells you all about the artificial insemination procedure she's just undergone, and stresses every gory detail.
Frankly, you're grossed out. But she rattles on, oblivious to your discomfort.
Aside from blurting out your disgust or offering a little nervous laughter, knowing how to greet the all-too-common TMI (too much information) slip at work can be tough, but the situation is arising more often as workplaces become increasingly laid-back.
The era of social networking and celebrity gossip has taken hold in workplaces, too, making the exchange of personal details commonplace while the market meltdown has done its part to make the once-taboo topic of personal finance fair game in both the boardroom and the lunchroom.
But Chatty Cathys beware: Offering too much personal information too often can throw a wrench in your career and your working relationships, experts warn.
Boundaries are often crossed when one employee thinks his or her relationship with another colleague is closer than it really is, says Ric Phillips, president of 3V Communications, a Toronto-based consultancy.
"We spend a lot of time with these people in the workplace; we kind of trick ourselves into thinking they're our friends," he says. "When someone overshares, it can create a lot of awkwardness if they've said too much and the other person wasn't ready for it, doesn't care, doesn't ask or doesn't know how to handle that information. And you can't rewind it, that's the biggest problem."
This loose-lipped behaviour can damage reputations and working relationships down the road, he says.
"It's a double-edged sword - we want to share that information, to feel like we're not leaving somebody out or we're not being too cold. But every time we give out personal information, it's potential ammunition that can be used against us," he says.
However tight you think you are with your cubicle buds, the office is usually not the place for excessive details about your personal life or chat about things that can make colleagues uncomfortable, says Saul Carliner, a professor of
education at Concordia University in Montreal who specializes in workplace communication.
"Never presume that what's said in the office stays in the office," he says, noting that after-work drinks and lunches out with colleagues still count as the office environment. "Most of it is probably forgotten, but a lot of it gets repeated."
The insemination scenario once happened to a colleague of Dr. Carliner's and fostered a lot of awkwardness.
"The person was probably excited about becoming pregnant, but the other person thought it was disgusting and it made them really uncomfortable," he says.
Oversharers often don't realize they're making others squirm, he says, which makes it even more important for employees to be clear about where their personal line has been crossed.
It's usually not a good idea to discuss your religion, your sex life or how much money you make, he says, and many workplaces have written policies on this. Managers should sit down with their staff and openly discuss what's appropriate to chat about, Dr. Carliner says.
An equal, if not heavier, burden is placed on the manager, who sets the tone for a working environment and must manage a lot of confidential information, he adds.
Whether you're a boss or an employee, your reputation can take an unexpected hit and you can be easily branded as loose-lipped and untrustworthy if your verbal slips are frequent, says Bruce Wade, a partner with Cenera, a human resources and consulting firm in Calgary. It could cost you a promotion or limit your access to confidential information. And worse, it can cause rifts in your working relationships, he says.
