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What fresh celebrity hell is this? Rosario Dawson willingly mingles among the unwashed throng of movie fans at the premiere of much-hyped sequel Sin City: A Dame to Kill For in Los Angeles.John Shearer

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And here we have Jessica Alba and Bruce Willis, the principal stars of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. They were a romantic couple in the first Sin City film, but his character is dead in the sequel. Thank heavens for small miracles.John Shearer

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But come to think of it, the cast of the new Sin City film seems mostly split between sassy young ingenues and leathery old character actors. In the former category, here’s 25-year-old Juno Temple, who went all frizzy for the premiere.Jordan Strauss

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And here we have Sin City star Josh Brolin (46), who’s been cranking out support roles since The Goonies in 1985. At least we know the male Sin City contingent can’t get any creepier.Jordan Strauss

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Or maybe it can. Here’s writer-director Frank Miller, or possibly Freddy Krueger, posing with co-director Robert Rodriguez at the Sin City premiere. Whew, we’ve got the worst out of the way.John Shearer

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Oops again. Looks like Mickey Rourke (61) broke out the bronzer to attend the Sin City premiere and even brought along his Russian model girlfriend Anastassija Makarenko (27). You’ve probably already guessed that Rourke was the last of the creepy old men there …MARIO ANZUONI/Reuters

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But you would be wrong! Here’s crooner Michael Bolton (61), who doesn’t appear in the Sin City film but showed up at the premiere anyway. When did his mullet turn into a combover?Jordan Strauss

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Now to New York, where former Jersey Shore regular Jennifer Farley – you know her as ‘J-Woww’ – was the biggest star at the premiere of the slasher flick Jersey Shore Massacre. Unless, of course, you count her reality-show pal Angela ‘Big Ang’ Raiola as a bona fide celebrity. Which we don’t.Andy Kropa

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At the same event, J-Woww posed for pics with her former Jersey Shore co-star Ronnie Magro, who seems to have gotten shorter since Shore signed off in 2012. Civilian life will do that to a man.Andy Kropa

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Elsewhere in New York, Chazz Palminteri channelled his inner Terminator at the premiere of the animated feature Henry & Me. His wife Gianna appears nonplussed.Greg Allen

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Also at the Henry & Me event: New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi and his wife Serena, but who’s that old coot stuck in between them?Greg Allen

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Yep, it’s Richard Gere, who apparently came to the premiere directly from his weekly sandlot baseball game.Greg Allen

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Now to Hollywood, where the French-Canadian actress Jessica Paré turned on the charm for Mad Men creator Matt Weiner at the premiere of his big-screen directorial debut Are You Here. Plead all you want, but Megan Draper is out of the picture for the coming final episodes.Todd Williamson

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Weiner was more receptive to the advances of Laura Ramsey, who briefly portrayed a seductress of Don Draper in one episode of Mad Men’s second season and now plays a key role in Are You Here. If the sixties taught us anything, it’s that you have to live in the moment!Todd Williamson

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Paré, meanwhile, was left to the ministrations of her grubby Mad Men co-star Jay Ferguson (he plays Stan), who wore either a headband or a headset to the event. Whatever it was, it was just … wrongTodd Williamson

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But where was Mad Men star Jon Hamm while all this was going on? Why, he was in his hometown of St. Louis to take part in a baseball game between the Cardinals and Cincinnati Reds with proceeds going to charity. Unfortunately, Hamm immediately froze at the press conference to promote the event. These actors …Scott Kane/The Associated Press

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Next came the warmup before throwing out the ceremonial first pitch. Luckily, Hamm knew some pretty decent arm exercises from signalling for barkeeps on Mad Men.Scott Kane/The Associated Press

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The bad news: When it came time to get it across the plate, Hamm displayed roughly the athletic prowess of Andy Dick. Make that Andy Dick on his worst day and with a broken arm.Scott Kane/The Associated Press

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But thespian sports redemption was afoot! Right around the same time in Los Angeles, Jessica Alba threw out the first pitch at a Dodgers-Brewers game and fired the ball across the plate like a young Roger Clemens.Mark J. Terrill/The Associated Press

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‘Tee-hee! All I know is I’m young and hot and I don’t have to make out with Bruce Willis in the new Sin City movie!’Mark J. Terrill/The Associated Press

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