Singer Rihanna watches the Los Angeles Clippers play the Oklahoma City Thunder in the second half of Game 6 of the Western Conference semifinal NBA basketball playoff series, Thursday, May 15, 2014, in Los Angeles.Mark J. Terrill/The Associated Press
Charlie Sheen has directed online rage toward Rihanna after the singer declined to meet the actor and his fiancée at a Los Angeles restaurant.
According to reports, the actor and his fiancée, Scottine Sheen (formerly Brett Rossi, porn star), were having dinner at the swank Santa Monica restaurant Giorgio Baldi earlier this week when they learned Rihanna was at the same eatery and requested an introduction.
Sheen recapped his version of events in a long and rambling TwitLonger post.
"well, the word we received back was that there were too many paps outside and it just wasn't possible at this time. At this time? AT THIS TIME? lemme guess, we're to reschedule another random 11 million to 1 encounter with her some other night…?"
Naturally, Sheen clarified that he could care less about meeting the Grammy-winning singer: "no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and 'please kill me now' that I'd never get back."
But his soon-to-be-wife did care, which prompted this tirade:
"Nice impression you left," he continued. "Sorry we're not KOOL enough to warrant a blessing from the Princess (or in this case the Village Idiot)."
In the same missive, the Anger Management star goes on to explain his willingness to spend time with fans throughout his acting career.
"you see THIS is the reason that I ALWAYS take the time. THIS is why I'm in this thing 31 awesome years. Good will and common courtesy, carefully established over time to exist radically in concert with a code of gratitude!"
And Sheen wasn't through venting. He closed his message with, "See ya on the way down (we always do) and actually it was a pleasure NOT meeting you. Clearly we have NOTHING in common when it comes to respect for those who've gone before you. I'm guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant."
By the way, when Rihanna left the restaurant, she was swarmed by the waiting paparazzi, according to the Los Angeles Times.
A few hours later, she seemingly responded to Sheen's outburst with a cryptic tweet that simply said, "Goooorrrrrlllll."
And she seemed to get even more specific in her follow-up tweet: "If that old queen don't get ha diapers out of a bunch…"
All things considered, the incident never reached the incendiary level of Sheen's Twitter threat to put Ashton Kutcher (who, of course, replaced him on Two and A Half Men) on a "hospital food diet," but don't be surprised to see these two sniping at each other again in the near future.
The truly great feuds always have a rematch.