The late Peaches Geldof was “happier than ever” and enraptured by motherhood, according to her final entry as a parenting columnist.
Earlier this year, the 25-year-old mother of two signed up with the British Mother & Baby magazine to pen a monthly column on parenting.
On Wednesday, Mother & Baby published Geldof’s last submission – with the “blessing of her family” – on their website.
In retrospect her final words are both haunting and tragic.
Geldof, the daughter of rock icon Bob Geldof and Paula Yates, was discovered dead at her home in southern England on Monday afternoon. Autopsy results released Wednesday indicated no foul play, but the outcome of toxicology tests will not be available for several weeks.
In her final column, titled “Being a Mum is the best thing in my life,” Geldof speaks lovingly of her two sons, Astaia, aged 23 months and Phaedra, 12 months, and credits them with rescuing her from “a life of wanton wanderlust” and a “haze of youth and no responsibilities.”
Prior to starting a family with her second husband, rock singer Thomas Cohen, Geldof worked as a model and TV presenter and was a constant fixture on the London club scene.
But Peaches was never really happy as a party girl.
In her own words: “I wanted an anchor – I craved it. And when I had two wailing, smiling, joyful little blobs of waddling pink flesh, they became my entire existence and saved me from one of pure apathy.”
The downside: Geldof says young motherhood made her suddenly “friendless,” once her former party pals realized she was unable to take part in “wine-soaked” dinners.
“I felt alienated and abandoned,” she writes. “Had I made a mistake?”
Geldof answers her own question in the article, in which she recounts the moment when her two sons joined her in bed and Astaia proudly showed her a picture he had drawn.
“Astaia proudly announced, ‘Narny (what he calls himself) draw Mama. Narny love Mama.”
The drawing, writes Gelfof, was “heartbreakingly sweet,” and caused her to burst into tears.
“Phaedy gave me a wet kiss and both collapsed giggling into my arms, looking at me with pure love,” she writes. “In that magic moment, all my doubts were erased. Everything else was nothingness and it just … didn’t matter. I had the perfect life – two beautiful babies who loved me more than anything.
“It was, and is, bliss,” she writes.
Geldof closes off the column with her declaration that she is “happier than ever” in her new life.
“I’ve achieved a sort of perfect balance,” she writes. “And being a mum is the best part of it.”
You can read the column in its entirety here – but be sure to keep a tissue handy.