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Kelly Oxford has been mentored and encouraged by some big names (HarperCollins Canada)
Kelly Oxford has been mentored and encouraged by some big names (HarperCollins Canada)

Check out some of Kelly Oxford's best tweets Add to ...

  • Just watched a woman buy: gas-x, lice treatment and condoms. I spoke for the world when I said, “I hope they all work
  • Every clock in my room changed daylight time on its own. It’s finally the future.
  • To me, every neck tattoo says, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
  • If you can name 5 Kardashians but can’t name 5 countries in Asia, stick a knife in an electrical socket.
  • Do these people in Polident commercials know their life is over?
  • The longer I have kids the more I realize parents who tell their kids they weren’t the reason for divorce were lying.
  • Try explaining to your kid why Colonel is spelled like that, then get back to me.
  • Overheard a hipster say “Quinoa is kind of 2011” so I lit his beard on fire.
  • I’ve cried during every American Idol performance tonight, in case you’ve ever wondered what having PMS is like.
  • Canadians watch U.S. politics like Americans watch Jersey Shore.

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