Hendrika (Rita) Vandermey
Singer, card shark, yogi, caregiver. Born on May 7, 1918, in The Hague, Netherlands; died on May 13, 2014, in Glen Allan, Ont., of metastatic cancer, aged 96.
Rita loved to sing. In her last days she was happy that she could still hit the high notes, and it was only fitting that family members sang her through her final moments on Earth. "God is love," she repeated, over and over, at this time. She had struggled with the angry God of her strict church upbringing in her native Holland, then come to trust that there was a purpose and a loving intent moving through her life, growing into an inspiration of faith for those around her.
At the age of 14, Rita Honders entered domestic service in Leiden. There she met a young gardener, Kryn Vandermey, and they married in 1940 just before his mobilization in advance of the German invasion. During the occupation, the couple had three children and risked fostering a Jewish boy. Wartime shortages were many, but Rita had a talent for working hard and singing her way through difficult times.
Two more children followed after the war ended, and in 1952 the now seven-member family immigrated to Canada with a dream of owning their own land. Their first years in Willowdale, Ont., were challenging. Jobs were scarce, and there was a new language to learn.
By the early 1960s, the family had welcomed another three children – five sons and three daughters in all – and Kryn had become superintendent of Beth Tzedec cemetery in Willowdale, which was still countryside then. The family had a barn and were able to keep chickens, goats, geese and a cow (Bessie), and grew their own vegetables. They made every penny count; the boys had paper routes and contributed their earnings, and Saturday nights were spent making butter while watching hockey. A lot of cleaning was done to the sound of Rita's singing.
In her 40s, she took singing lessons, became a yoga instructor, and finally fulfilled her aspiration of becoming a nurse's aide. Ever the organizer, she saved money for a property near Flesherton, where she and Kryn built their retirement home. At 65, Rita got her driver's licence and worked part-time caring for elderly people in their homes. She was also active in a number of church choirs in the area.
After nursing Kryn for many years, and grieving his death in 2007, Rita moved to an apartment in nearby Markdale, where she immersed herself in church and community activities – playing cards, singing, volunteering at the seniors' home.
A big part of Rita's life was the Dutch tradition of hosting birthday and anniversary parties. She sang with her friends as part of the entertainment, and loved to dance. Her home and heart were always open to her children, 19 grandchildren and 27 great-grandchildren, and she frequently visited relatives in the Netherlands. On her 95th birthday, she played soccer with her great-grandkids – and demonstrated her ability to stand on her head.
Whether she was cheering for the Maple Leafs, arguing politics or discussing the latest health trend, Rita was always trying to figure things out. In the end, it became simply "God is love." She is in heaven's choir now, giving direction and probably leading the dance.
Anne Harauz is Rita's daughter; George Harauz is her son-in-law; Angela Cheyne is her granddaughter.