Paul Silva Marques
Father, pharmacist, renaissance man. Born on Sept. 13, 1951, in Fall River, Mass.; died on March 3, 2015, in Smiths Falls, Ont., of injuries suffered in a car accident, aged 63.
Paul was many things – a doting father, amateur chef, storyteller and small-town pharmacist who became a sounding board and confidante for his clients. He was bald of head, big of heart and curious of mien. And he was passionate, opinionated and fiercely proud of his Portuguese heritage.
He was born into a community of Portuguese immigrants in Massachusetts, the second of Manuel and Gloria Marques's two sons. As an infant, he survived an illness that left him with only 20 per cent hearing. This helped to make him a better listener, able to make a speaker feel as if he or she were the only person in the world. It also helped to turn him toward more solitary pursuits such as painting and reading, and to be comfortable in his own skin. As long as he was being true to himself, he didn't care what others thought of him.
When he was 5, his father, who converted from Catholicism to the Baptist faith and became a minister, moved their family to Portugal to start a ministry. They lived with Manuel's sister and her husband, crowded into a Lisbon apartment that had a balcony from which young Paul loved to call out to passersby in English. Nobody on the street spoke the language but his greetings, delivered with a wide, mischievous smile, came through loud and clear.
Each day, Paul and brother Sam accompanied their aunt to the market, learning to negotiate and charm merchants as they did errands. Those forays were lessons in how to connect with people and make them feel good about themselves, which served Paul well throughout his life.
In 1965, the family moved back to North America for good, first to Massachusetts and then to Toronto, where Paul attended high school. In 1976, he graduated from the University of Toronto with a pharmacy degree. He chose to settle in Burritts Rapids, Ont., where he built a home from scratch on the banks of the Rideau River. He loved the town, where he knew everybody and everybody knew him.
As a pharmacist, he was justly offended when people wanted to pay for goods such as toothpaste and deodorant at his counter: "I am dispensing life-saving drugs and am not a cashier," he would say. But he never hesitated when it came to helping customers who needed him, such as the house call he made to sort out the many medications of a 90-year-old woman.
Although Paul's marriage had recently ended in divorce, he cared deeply about family – his brother, his cousins, and especially his two sons, Zach and Justin. He always spent lots of time with his boys – hiking, skiing and going to so many soccer tournaments over the years that we all lost count. He was proud of their accomplishments and wanted to prepare them for any future challenges.
Paul's legacy continues. We'll remember him as we cheer for his beloved Portuguese national soccer team, and during long walks in the woods. With glasses of wine in hand, we'll remember him as we watch the sun set, tell stories and take long, detouring trips down memory lane. He is part of us, proud, fierce and laughing.
Ana P. Lopes is Paul's cousin.