Robert (Bob) Gaudet
Priest, husband, mentor, contemplative in action. Born on Aug. 31, 1931, in Hartford, Conn.; died on Nov. 7, 2014, in Toronto, of cancer, aged 83.
Bob Gaudet moved to Montreal as a teenager and was educated in high school and college by the Jesuits. He was so drawn to their way of life that he decided to join the Roman Catholic teaching order. Although he eventually left the priesthood and the Jesuits, married and embarked on a new career, the priesthood and the Jesuits never left Bob. He carried his faith, his training and his pastoral caring into everything he did and with everyone he met. As one friend put it, he was a "contemplative in action."
After extensive training for the priesthood, he was ordained at 34, and continued his education with a degree in sociology. As Catholic chaplain on the Loyola campus of Montreal's Concordia University in the 1970s and '80s, he focused on building community through prayer, play and discussion. He organized meaningful liturgies, retreats, ski trips, prison visits, and conferences about current issues. One former student recalls a ski day with Bob: "We talked and skied, then skied and talked. We laughed and we thought deeply. Everyone and every comment was heard and by the end of the day we had a consensus. ... The way we thought it through – Bob's way – was truly a gift."
Bob's way included the logical and the intuitive, engaging the head and the heart. He could look at the broad picture, consider all sides, and discern the way forward with vision and courage. He did this as director of Canadian Jesuits International, which took him to Toronto in 1986, and later as a member of its board of trustees; as well as in his second career, as a member of the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada, which began in 1990 and continued until 2011.
How fortunate were the refugees who appeared before him: Bob approached each case as if it were his first, put the claimants at ease, and created an atmosphere that allowed them to tell their story and be heard. He treated them with the utmost respect. Later, he served as a trainer and mentor for new board members.
As a priest, Bob officiated at many weddings and worked hard to prepare couples for the sacrament of matrimony. One of his achievements, he often told us, was bringing a program known as Engaged Encounter to Montreal. He invited several married couples to lead these weekend retreats, then stepped aside to let us, the laity, run the program. Later, as a lay person, he often officiated at civil unions and could bring the spirit of God into the ceremony without ever mentioning God's name.
Bob followed his heart when he left the priesthood, not because he was disillusioned with the church, in which he remained, or with the Jesuits, but because something was missing from his life. When he met and married Odilie Solis in 1990, he found the love and intimacy he so longed for. They had 24 wonderful years together, travelling to her native Costa Rica, throughout Asia, Europe (including the Ignatian pilgrimage route in Spain) and the United States.
An enthusiastic skier, tennis player and gardener, Bob also enjoyed an active spiritual life. His sparkling blue eyes were truly a mirror of his soul. Many recall his grace before meals as his signature piece: It was always a reminder to be grateful, for the food, for the company, for the moment. We are grateful for the many moments we had with Bob.
Kathleen Dunn, on behalf of Bob's many friends.