From Monday's Globe and Mail Published on Sunday, Nov. 08, 2009 7:22PM EST
My ten-year-old son makes fun of me constantly for my lack of a dating life. He even wrote in the dust that collected on my car window, “My mom needs a boyfriend – apply here.” I was proud not only because he spelled everything correctly, but because he wants me to be happy and content in my new skin.
Logistically, it's a bit tricky to be having a dating life when kids are around, but planning ahead can make all the difference. Plus, all the sneaking around is kind of hot! You have every right to use your home for entertaining when the children aren't around. Don't be misleading about your life, but at least hide the car seat. Take SpongeBob out of the video player, serve cheese and crackers instead of chicken nuggets, and designate an adult area where you can feel psychologically a little separate from the kids.
Get an arsenal of good babysitters and meet in bars and restaurants. You will have your “mom” hat and your “hot crazed dating lady” hat. And at one point, the two will meet. But for right now, keep them separate and distinct. If you have kept the family intact and are starting to have a real and viable dating life, then you're beginning to have it all. Imagine soccer and family time on Monday night, and making out in your boyfriend's car on Tuesday afternoon. And don't worry about the kids. Your ex-husband is taking care of them while your guy is taking care of you.
Adapted from Divorce Sucks: What to Do When Irreconcilable Differences, Lawyer Fees, and your Ex's Hollywood Wife Make you Miserable , by Mary Jo Eustace. Edited by Joanne Kimes, Copyright © 2009 by Joanne Kimes. Used by permission of Adams Media, an F+W Media, Inc. Co. All rights reserved. $23.99
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