While shocking in its apparent randomness and brutality, experts say the case of Victoria Stafford may be typical in one way. The woman charged with abducting the 8-year-old from Woodstock, Ont., was not a perfect stranger – rather, she was an acquaintance of her mother.
For decades, parents have warned their kids about “stranger danger.” But now child safety experts say those warnings are outdated, even misleading.
Even though there are about 50 reports of stranger abductions in Canada each year, in most of those cases, the abductor is not a complete stranger. Most often, they are someone the child has met, or at least seen before.
“In most cases in Canada that have been solved, they found that the child was aware, or knew or familiar with the person that took them,” said retired Staff Sergeant John Oliver of the RCMP's National Missing Children Services.
“And that's very difficult for a parent to try to educate their child against,” says Staff Sgt. Oliver, who has worked for over 20 years on missing-children cases.
In 2004, Marlene Dalley, a research officer with the RCMP, released a report on stranger abductions where she analyzed over 90 stranger-abduction cases in Canada. She found girls around the age of 10 are “prime targets” for abductors, who most often seek sexual gratification or power. Most children in stranger abductions are taken within close range of home.
Citing the Canadian cases and other U.S. studies, Dr. Dalley said the typical child victims are from a middle-class family and live in cities or the suburbs. Abductors, on the other hand, tend to be men in their 20s, and if they murder their victim, almost always have a history of violent behaviour. They rarely stalk their victim but tend to be highly skilled manipulators, luring children with requests for assistance.
In five Canadian cases that Dr. Dalley analyzed in depth, only one abductor was unknown to the child. The other four were friends of the family or neighbours.
With this in mind, child-safety experts are now veering away from the old “stranger danger” approaches that have been used for decades. Staff Sgt. Oliver found that most children perceive strangers as “ugly or mean.” They also tend to trust people if they've met them more than once.
“The average person thinks ‘stranger' means the man wearing the dark coat – and that's not at all the description of a stranger in these statistics,” said Marilyne Aalhus, director of development for the Missing Children Society of Canada. “It could be the neighbour next door, and that's the thing that we need to be educating our children about.”
Rather than teach children to fear a certain individual, organizations such as Child Find Canada and the U.S. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children urge parents to teach their children routines and strategies to deal with unsafe situations. These strategies include creating a family password, teaching a child to scream or run away if they feel uncomfortable or implement strict routines.
“We try to reinforce that the child should let their parents know if they're changing their schedule,” said John Durant, executive director of Child Find Ontario. “If they're not coming home at a specific time, or if they're going to the mall instead of going straight home, they should let their parents know where they're going to be.”
Yesterday, the RCMP released its most current statistics on Canada's missing children. Of the 56,102 reports of missing children in 2008, 72 per cent were runaways, 300 were parental-abduction cases, and only 56 were reports of stranger abductions – the same number as in 2007.
Police consider anyone other than a child's parents a “stranger,” so the 56 cases include, along with actual strangers, cases involving relatives, neighbours and family friends.
It is unclear whether Victoria Stafford had previously met Terri-Lynne McClintic, the woman now accused of leading the little girl on April 8 to Michael Thomas Rafferty, the man charged with murdering her. Victoria's mother, Tara McDonald, told reporters that police told her Ms. McClintic said she didn't recognize the little girl, and if she had, she would have chosen a different child.
Child-proofing
For years, children were taught to stay away from strangers. Now experts say this concept fails because it's difficult for children to grasp and often a perpetrator is someone the child knows. They say it's better to empower children with confidence and the skills to deal with a potentially dangerous situation. Here are some lessons that parents can teach their children:
Children should know their name, address, phone number and parents' names, places of work and contact numbers. Also, how to dial 9-1-1.
Teach children that it's okay to say “no,” and if they feel uncomfortable, to yell and scream to attract attention.
Never wander away from where you first get lost.
Always check with a parent before accepting a ride, gift or candy from someone, even if you know the person.
Have a secret code word that only the family knows.
Source: RCMP's Our Missing Children website
