For all the hedonism that wine epitomizes, it can cause its share of anxiety. Nowhere is the dread more palpable than at a fancy restaurant. The markups alone can cause indigestion even before the appetizers arrive.
But it’s not just about money. How do you find the best selection for your dinner when the list is fatter than the Tokyo phone book? What if the pinot noir you select ends up smelling like a pair of old sneakers? Do you risk the shame of proclaiming it off when, in fact, it’s supposed to taste like old sneakers?
Even sommeliers, the wine professionals in fine-dining establishments, are not immune to embarrassment. Rajat Parr, wine director of San Francisco’s Mina Group, with 18 top restaurants, including Seablue in Atlantic City and Las Vegas, under his command, recalls a recent moment of awkwardness while dining out with friends.
The bottle Mr. Parr ordered arrived tableside, and he dutifully smelled the small pour offered by the sommelier. It seemed vaguely pungent, but he was uncertain whether the winemaker had simply applied too much sulphur as a preservative or whether it was, in fact, terminally spoiled by cork taint, a foul-smelling fungal defect that randomly affects even the best bottles. “I thought, ‘Maybe it’ll blow off, maybe it’s just a little excess sulphur,’ ” he told me over the phone last week. So Mr. Parr nodded approval to the sommelier, who proceeded to pour for the table. “Five minutes later, somebody goes, ‘Is this okay?’ And I’m like, ‘Wow, it is badly corked.’ ”
Swallowing his pride, he summoned back the sommelier, confessed his mistake and politely requested a replacement. He got it, no questions asked.
In an effort to help restaurant patrons navigate the minefield of wine service with aplomb, if not teach them what cork taint actually smells like, Mr. Parr has just published Secrets of the Sommeliers, co-written with Jordan Mackay, the wine and spirits editor of San Francisco magazine. I spoke with Mr. Parr to solicit a few insider tips on picking wines in restaurants as well as what to serve at home.
What’s up with those plate-crushing wine lists in expensive restaurants? Are we expected to read War and Peace before the appetizers come just to find a decent beverage?
Most good wine lists should have some kind of a section which is kind of like a go-to – a “wines of consequence” or “seasonal” short list. If not, think of what you want, white or red, and a certain flavour profile and go straight to a region. Say, Piedmont or Burgundy or the Rhône or Beaujolais. Then go to that section and pick something real quick and move on.
If I want a special red in a certain category but want to spend less than, say, the gross domestic product of Malta, is it tacky to talk price? Is the sommelier going to nudge me up beyond what I can afford?
You have to be honest with the sommelier and say, “You know what? This is the kind of wine I like and I want a good value.” Don’t be shy to give a price. Sommeliers don’t usually want to ask guests what they want to spend. That’s not very tactful.
You mean patrons aren’t the only ones nervously dancing around the price issue?
It’s perfectly okay to mention your budget. It makes it easy on the sommelier. I’d rather undersell than oversell.
Let’s say I’m feeling timid and want to avoid the intrusion of a sommelier, but I still want to impress my dining companions without breaking the bank. What should I do?
