1:50 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]
For anyone out there, if you are looking for a therapist with sexuality expertise and training - check this website in Ontario: http://www.bestco.info/therapistlocator.php
1:51 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]
BESTCO has therapists in most areas across Ontario and you can be sure you are speaking with someone who will not judge you and will be knowledgeable about sexual issues.
1:52 [Comment From J ]
This is probably repetitive - my problem as a 50-yr old menopausal female is exactly the same as K's. Love my husband & we've resolved lots of the interpersonal things that used to get in the way, but even when I reduce stress and want to have more intimacy, the libido is not there and if I can climax at all it takes forever. We're probably in a bit of a rut in terms of doing the same old things, but we're both shy - so what's the easiest way to spice things up?
1:53 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]
Many, many women have difficulty having an orgasm. Did you know that only 23% of women regularly have orgasms during sex? So, I'd ask you if you are able to have orgasms more easily on your own. If so, what are elements of your self-play that you can bring into your partnered interaction? Were you more easily orgasmic in the past? If so, perhaps it's a physiological issue and you could benefit from hormone therapy or (more easily) adding a lubricant to your sexual activity. Check this out with your doctor (the hormone issue).
1:55 Niamh O'Doherty - Any last questions for Dr Robin readers?
1:55 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]
I'd also say that you need to figure out what kind of sex will motivate you to be sexually active, and then create that. I'd recommend trying a little bullet or egg vibrator. These are small, inexpensive ($20), and can be used on the clitoris, or around the penis (between the testicles and the base of the penis especially). This little toy is not threatening, but can add a lot of extra stimulation and fun/spice.
1:57 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]
For all of you out there, stores like "Come as You Are" and "Good for Her" based in Toronto have amazing websites with knowledgeable staff and quality products. You can order online and they will ship to you in discrete packaging.
1:58 Niamh O'Doherty - Thanks Robin! Any final words of advice for our readers?
2:00 [Comment From Robin Milhausen]
Our sex lives are always in flux, and will always be influenced by whatever is going on in other aspects of our lives. Also, your sex life will influence your relationship and other aspects of your mental health. Often what we see as "sexual problems" are not sexual at all, but issues from other spheres of life. Finding out what's causing the problem, and targeting that, can improve your sex life. Working with your partner to stay connected, and being honest about what's going on for you, will help you to stay intimate even when the sex isn't what you'd like it to be.
2:02 Niamh O'Doherty - Thanks Robin, and thanks everyone for your questions. Be safe and enjoy yourselves out there!