Visit our mobile site

The Globe and Mail

Jump to main navigation
Jump to main content

News Search
Search Stock Quotes
Search The Web
Search People at canada411.ca
Search Businesses at yellowpages.ca
Search Jobs at eluta.ca

A new generation of girls that are keeping their virginity

From Thursday's Globe and Mail

Erin Burton's virginity is not up for grabs, politically speaking.

It cannot be attributed to religious affiliations, of which she has none, or sex-education classes, which the Grade 12 student from Hamilton found pretty uninspiring.

The 17-year-old simply chalks up her decision to personal choice.

But Ms. Burton and other young people who have decided to avoid sex until marriage are finding themselves amid something of a virgin renaissance, in which others are hailing their sexual inexperience as everything from a feminist manifesto to a reactionary trend to a fashion statement.

Two new books about chastity, Virgin: The Untouched History and Girls Gone Mild: Young Women Reclaim Self-Respect and Find It's Not Bad to Be Good, credit today's population of modest teens to, respectively, a natural progression in female sexual liberation and the backlash against an overtly sexual culture.

As adults attempt to explain, explore or exploit teenage virginity, young Canadians such as Ms. Burton see their decision as unremarkable and apolitical, something they have settled on independently without adult inspiration.

"Basically, I feel that at this age I don't even know myself and so I shouldn't let anyone else know me that intimately," Ms. Burton said. "I've heard so many good reasons why you should stay abstinent and none against it."

And it is this attitude of nonchalant piety that has recently been embraced by pop culture.

Ian McEwan's new bestseller, On Chesil Beac h, chronicles the awkward night two young newlyweds try - and fail - to consummate their relationship and lose their virginity. The female protagonist, who abhors sex, goes on to be successful and fulfilled, while her way-too-eager ex lives a life of sexual freedom and ultimate despondency.

In Manhattan, the producers of an off-Broadway play called My First Time gave free tickets to those who could prove - to a hypnotist - that they were virgins. The show is based on true-life deflowering tales that were submitted by the public on a popular website.

And in Canada, Winnipeg filmmaker John Barnard is developing a film called Wild Cherry, a teen comedy about three girls who make a pact to remain virgins during their senior year. The production is meant to offer a funny counterpoint to horn-dog boy flicks such as American Pie, in which getting laid is the ultimate in accomplishments.

Ms. Burton is not surprised the good-girl image is gaining traction within these media. She says there is appeal in not buying into the easy sexual culture that has permeated high schools over recent years. "It shows that I have the strength to go against the norms of society and not be influenced by everyone around me," she said.

Girls like her are influenced by a sociopolitical climate, even if they don't realize it, says Hanne Blank, author of Virgin: The Untouched History.

"One of the things at play here, somewhat paradoxically, is feminism," she said. "Women can make whatever choice they want without being taken to task if that choice is unpopular."

In the late 20th century, Ms. Blank said, the most popular rationale for remaining chaste was to avoid being labelled a tramp or a slut. Now, proud autonomy has supplanted the fear of getting a bad reputation.

"This is a way that you can express your independence, your feminism, your intelligence," she said. "And that message is marketed to young people from all sides of the political spectrum."

But Wendy Shalit, author of Girls Gone Mild, believes the trend toward modesty is occurring organically with today's young people, more of a reaction to previous generations than a result of their efforts.

Ms. Shalit interviewed girls and women aged 12 to 40, and found that the younger the woman, "the less likely she was to see being publicly sexual as the path to empowerment. ...

"They've seen it all already, and they're bored with it," she said of young women. "For teens, the concept of actually taking the time to get to know someone before you hook up with them is a radical and welcome new concept."

The highly sexed culture epitomized by Britney Spears, baby tees and the Bratz was begging for a backlash, Ms. Shalit believes.

This would explain why film producers, Broadway playwrights and famous novelists have adopted the proudly chaste as their new protagonist, someone who offers a somewhat fresher, more inspiring and introspective character than her sexed-up sister.

But for the girls themselves, the move toward modesty remains more closely rooted in personal experience than in cultural phenomena.

Hannah Boyd, a 17-year-old from Edmonton, said she decided to save herself for marriage after one of her friends contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

"I've seen a lot of people have bad experiences that left them in complicated situations," she said.

Ms. Boyd is also influenced by her religious upbringing but, like Ms. Burton, is unfazed by behaviours that conflict with her own.

"People who don't remain abstinent aren't bad or wrong, it's just a choice they made," she said. "I guess they just think it's the right time."

And it is this attitude that is ultimately revolutionary, said Ms. Blank, demonstrating that whatever the rationale, a new generation seems to be increasingly impervious to judgment.

"I think it's a nice corrective to what I grew up with, which was if you're not having sex, you're a freak."

Sponsored Links