Over the next week, Santa will come in many shapes, sizes and dollar amounts for people like Rebecca Mihailiuk. As the founder of seven-year-old Urban Pups, a dog-walking and pet-sitting service in Toronto, she has received a wide variety of gifts from clients, from Starbucks cards to a brand-new iPod. Some people thank her with cash; while $50 is typical, she once received $250, and that was from a student.
“It really ranges,” she says just before picking up dogs Maggie and Shady. “Sometimes the people with the least amount of money can be the most generous.”
There are no hard-and-fast rules for acknowledging service people during the holiday season, and there's little way of knowing how your “thank you” stacks up against someone else's. For some people, the biggest question is whether to offer cash or a gift. For others, it's figuring out how not to go broke.
Indeed, as people incorporate more services into their lives, they are also dealing with increased end-of-year expenses that come from wanting to show their appreciation. Added to such urban mainstays as concierges, nannies and cleaners are life coaches, naturopaths, wardrobe consultants – and let's not forget psychics.
Anecdotally, service people say the gloom of last year's recession had little effect on tipping and gift-giving. But this year, a poll of more than 1,800 U.S. residents in the December issue of Consumer Reports magazine found that 26 per cent plan to spend less on gratuities.
Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette maven Emily Post, says the message should be about appreciation. Rather than calling it holiday tipping, “we'd love to try and change the title to holiday thanking,” she says from Burlington, Vt. “Whether you're giving someone a $50 tip, baking them a batch of cookies or writing them a note, you're saying the same thing – thank you for your service.”
People on the receiving end should be sensitive to economic realities, she says. “I don't think [service people] should look down on you if you give less. … I think it's the position of the giver to be the chooser of the gift.”
But those who plan to be less generous should consider this: “If we can afford the service, we have to factor in the tip,” says Patricia Lovett-Reid, senior vice-president with TD Waterhouse.
She hastens to add that the amount need not be a lot. “You give what you can and you feel good about it. I don't think you apologize for what you give; you simply give from an honest place.”
Al Lee, the director of quantitative analysis at PayScale, a U.S.-based online provider of employee compensation data, says certain jobs are more dependent on monetary gifts than others.
“A job like newspaper delivery is not a highly paid job; even a fairly modest few hundred dollars [cumulatively] will be a significant boost in income,” he says from Seattle.
He also distinguishes tipping from gift-giving. “You pay a healthy fee for a [personal] trainer, and that person is making a very good wage; you'd be hard-pressed to tip enough to make it interesting.”
Toronto-born trainer Harley Pasternak, whose Hollywood clients include the likes of Kanye West, Alicia Keys, John Mayer and Jessica Simpson and who has just released a new book, The 5-Factor World Diet , says he never receives cash from clients. He's had some generous gifts, however, including a vintage Rolex from his birth year (1974) and Louis Vuitton luggage.
Which is not to say that people must pick one over the other. For his favourite doorman, JJ Thompson will give $100 and a batch of his wife Paula's shortbread cookies. “If they're good, they'll bend over backwards for you,” says the founder of The Compendium Daily, a lifestyle and event blog. “They do way more than $100 worth of work in a year.”
