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Radio host Stu Jeffries.

Stu Jeffries, a father of three boys and host at Boom 97.3, offered a moving take on the Adrian Peterson case this week on the Toronto-based radio station. Here, Jeffries talks more about his own abusive past, his reaction to the Peterson story and how to start the path to forgiveness.

What does a four-year-old have to do that is so heinous, you felt the need to grab a tree branch and start whipping him? And then, in the process of whipping him – again, this is a four-year-old boy – how do you not know it's not right?

To me, what's most frightening is the line of thinking that a person is doing it to show their love for their child. You get inside that mindset and now abuse is perfectly acceptable, because "This is what my parents did for me, and look at me.

Forgiveness sounds like a logical and reasonable route, but I could never quite get there.

I used to think breaking the circle of abuse involved not getting married and not having kids. I never thought I would be an abusive father or husband, I just thought I was too poorly equipped and too scarred to take a family on. In fact, the opposite turned out to be true. A loving, patient wife and three beautiful boys made me realize that I can change things and make a difference and I'm doing my best every day.

There have been many times when any one of my three sons have exhibited behaviour that, if it had been me, would have resulted in being hit with some kind of object. And a swat on their rear end to get their attention happens from time to time – but a beating? Never. At what point, as you're whipping your child with a tree branch, does it not kick in that this child is 4? Or 5, or 6, or 7, or 12 – it doesn't matter. You're leaving scars that will remain long after the physical scars have disappeared.

Hasn't our parenting evolved? Haven't we evolved? I understand those were the methods of discipline back in the day. But there's a reason that there's a "back in the day." We know so much about the development of our kids and we know that almost everything we do has some sort of effect on them, in some way or another.

As a parent, I know that what I went through when I was a child was unacceptable. And although the scars remain and still feel fresh, I've learned those scars are mine, and need to stay with me – not get passed along in the name of culture or a mentality that "it was good enough for my parents so it's good enough for me."

I heard that the Minnesota Vikings have reversed their initial decision and Peterson won't be playing football this Sunday. I hope that he watches the game with his four-year-old son. I hope he sees the scars he's left on the boy and says that he's sorry. I hope he realizes that what he did to his son was so very wrong and I hope that he seeks some sort of counselling. Mostly, I hope his son forgets, the abuse ends and the circle starts to crumble.

As told to Dave McGinn.

This interview has been condensed and edited.

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