The only way Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise could have settled their divorce faster is if the Top Gunner had strapped on his old Maverick helmet, and requested a fly-by of the courthouse to dro p off the paperwork. A mere 11 days lapsed between Holmes filing for divorce in New York and the couple reaching a settlement – a blink of an eye in the world of celebrity breakups. With the dissolution of their marriage and, specifically, the speed with which Holmes executed her splitsville strategy making headlines all over the world, we spent some time thinking about other important numbers in their lives.
5 years , 7 months ; 5 years , 4 months
Length, respectively, of TomKat’s marriage compared to the run of Holmes’s star-making vehicle, Dawson’s Creek. Not only did they last nearly the same amount of time, they were both cultural phenomena that defined an era, and that only teenagers could take seriously. If only James Van Der Beek was there for Katie now, to offer some hyper-articulate words of wisdom.
Number of times one could listen to the Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ back-to-back in 11 days. Everyone remembers the scene in Top Gun, when a young Cruise serenades flight instructor Kelly McGillis in the ladies room. Perhaps Cruise is taking the break-up like a teenager, listening to the song over and over again, muttering something about how Katie never closed her eyes any more when he kissed her lips.
Number of days between filing for divorce and reaching a settlement for Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, compared to TomKat. Sir Paul is probably penning a little ditty right now about how jealous he is of Tom and Katie’s speedy work. Mills walked out of that settlement with $48.6-million (U.S.) in her pocket. Reports say Holmes is expected to get $15-million of Cruise’s estimated $250-million – $3 million for every year the two were married.
Number of times in 11 days you could re-enact Cruise’s “You complete me” speech from Jerry Maguire. Number of times you can hear “You had me at hello” before getting sick of it? About a million times ago.
Amount of time I predict Nicole Kidman will spend publicly commenting on TomKat’s divorce in anything other than the blandest, most generic terms possible. Having been Mrs. Tom Cruise for a decade, she knows the gossip machine all too well. Why would she subject herself to it again? Although the rumours of her secretly counselling Holmes over the phone are pretty juicy.
Number of times in 11 days you could watch all 12 movies starring Cruise and Holmes that were released from the time they were married until the announcement of their divorce (six a piece). Although you might want to stick to just Cruise’s flicks – his titles earned just under $1.5-billion, nearly seven times as much as Holmes’s, whose list of stinkers includes three movies that failed to gross more than $500,000 worldwide ( The Romantics, The Extra Man and The Son of No One, which made just over $30,000). Although with the cash settlement likely being worked out right now, Mad Money takes on a deeper meaning.
7 years, 3 months
Time it has been since the media dubbed Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes “TomKat.” The fact that we will continue to use this term without irony is perhaps the biggest tragedy of this whole situation.