Chas needs your help.
He's looking for a "future wife," and he'll shell out $10,000 if you find her for him.
"Basically, I work a lot and never had much luck with online dating. I figured, why not create a site where I'm the only guy," the 40-year-old writes on his slick website, HookChasUp.com.
"40 and still single? Hmm. Thanks to a decade of 'life coaching' and some insightful relationships, I can honestly say I'm ready to start a family. For realz," he writes, just to reassure his wingmen and wingwomen.
The homepage features a boyish-looking Chas in an elegant, wood-panelled room. Ready for his date, he waits expectantly, dressed in a crisp white shirt and brown velvet jacket. He appears to be drinking a smoothie.
Sound good? It gets better: Chas is 6'1" and "Loves kids. Wants kids." He also enjoys tequila, snowboarding and A Prayer for Owen Meany. He also loves monkeys.
After being featured on the Daily Candy last week, the San Francisco man was inundated with offers from "sisters, mothers, BFFs, co-workers, cousins and neighbors," not to mention Chas's grandma's buddy, who's 92.
Chas is taking submissions via e-mail. (No word on whether a "future wife" can submit herself and bag the money.)
The caveat? "The 10k will only be awarded if I marry someone." In other words, don't expect the money for a while there, pal.
One can just imagine the many uncomfortable scenarios for future wife: "Chas, why does Phillip keep third-wheeling on our dates, asking about the ring? It's been three weeks!" Or "Chas, what's this website?"
Would you submit a girlfriend to Chas? Or is this basically a 21st century pimp-out for the creative professional class?