The Globe and Mail

10. HULK HOGAN

Okay, forget those bulging, monstrous muscles and startling grunts emerging from this man.

If you met Hulk Hogan in a dark alley sans stache, would he be nearly as intimidating? We say nay.

(AP)

9. CHARLIE CHAPLIN

The pioneer of the stache, the founder of the fuzz - Charlie Chaplin rocked his facial hair like a gentleman and a scholar. Even in silent, colourless films, his manliness radiated - in large part due to that little strip of hair.

We tip our hats to you, Charlie.

(AFP/Getty Images)

8. ALEX TREBEK

What is, ‘Man up and grow your moustache back already, Trebek.’

Seriously, enough is enough.

(REUTERS)

7. NED FLANDERS

He’s sweet, caring and oh-so-neighbourly. But there’s something we just don’t trust about Ned, and we’re pretty sure it starts with that perfectly groomed moustache.

Even on Ned Flanders, the stache adds swagger.

(©2001FOX BROADCASTING)

6. LIONEL RICHIE

Hello.

Is it me you’re looking for?

Yes, yes it is.

(Motown Records)

6. MARIO & LUIGI

While yes, these are technically two (fictional, animated) men - their moustaches come in as one entry. Their beautiful bouncing moustaches, bursting with countless Italian-plumber stereotypes, make the two little guys even more enjoyable.

(Nintendo)

Wait.

WHAT. THE.

We realize he's no celebrity, and we suppose that's technically a beard, but let's just admire this feat for a moment.

Kudos to you, Dieter Besuch of Germany.

But we digress. Back to the countdown.

(AFP/Getty Images)

4. SIDNEY CROSBY

The Next One makes the list for his dedication to even the smallest sprouting of facial hair and clear abandonment of pride and dignity.

It’s absolutely the lamest stache we have ever seen - which kind of makes it awesome.

(2010 Getty Images)

3. HAL JOHNSON

What goes better with Hal Johnson than Joanne Mcleod? You guessed it: That moustache.

Hal taught us how to eat well and exercise daily, but nothing hit home more than the beautiful marriage of a spandex suit and a perfectly groomed lip worm.

(Canadian Press)

2. SALVADOR DALI

What happens when you combine genius, surrealism and facial hair? This beautiful work of art.

Don’t stare at it too long.

1. MAGNUM PI

Oh, like you're surprised.

The Hawaii-based private investigator and ultimate ladies man is awarded this elite prize. Tom Selleck is one of the few men who can proudly say they look better avec stache. (Seriously, have you seen him clean-shaven? We find ourselves pleading with the TV screen. Wear the stache, Tom, and don’t ever take it off.)

What do you think of our stache selections?
Agree? Disagree? Leave your hairy opinions in the comment field.

(Magnum PI)