Tuning into awards shows isn’t always about the accolades or the art - it’s about who’s wearing who, and how scandalous that outfit is.
We may all be in for a surprise come Sunday at this year’s Grammy awards - CBS is asking the artists to cover up.
Wait - what about the wardrobe malfunctions? The ridiculous translucent belly-button, side-boob dresses of yesteryear?
The hilariously-detailed e-mail laid out precisely just what outfits are appropriate and what is unacceptable (the instructions far more complex than this Winnipeg high school’s wardrobe limitations).
"Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered," CBS instructs. "Please avoid exposing bare flesh under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic."
As if it needed to be more specific, the e-mail continues: "Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible 'puffy' bare skin exposure."
No puffy bare skin exposure? Way to ruin all the fun, CBS.
Unsurprisingly, Twitter lit up with the advisory - Pink, who sang last year, was a little flattered her photo from her performance (where she’s wearing little more than ribbons, upside down), tweeted: “CBS issues wardrobe advisory for Grammys. bit.ly/11YzF3C hahaha love that they used my pic, ” and reporter Sabrina Sabbagh tweeted : “Notify the prude police.”
Understandably, this is the same network that was fined $550,000 (U.S.) for Janet Jackson’s uninvited nipple at the Super Bowl halftime show - but that was eight years ago. Why is CBS being so prudish all of a sudden?
It’s certainly a sad commentary on the state of Hollywood when networks need to tell the stars to exercise basic common decency - but who will we sneer, judge (and secretly envy) if the celebrities dress modestly?