"Cat believed that everything was a prison."
"The very existence of other cats sometimes sent him into a rage."
"He liked water in all its forms, even sometimes showering with people."
When Cat died late last month his owner, The Awl co-founder Choire Sicha, eulogized him in a simple yet formal piece titled, "The Last Photograph of Cat."
Here, Mr. Sicha paints a portrait of Cat's obstinate, independent nature (the essence of most cats) and catalogues his greatest pleasures, which included roasted chickens, pancakes, sitting at the dinner table and sleeping under the covers in bed.
Like a growing number of pet eulogies being posted by mournful owners online, the piece anthropomorphizes Cat, no sin given that pets are more charming than their owners, most of the time.
Frank DiGianni describes losing his dog Mainge, a mutt he picked up when he was a park ranger in Arizona. He found the tiny 'res dog' sitting on the side of a desert road in Navajo Nation, covered in ticks and half dead.
"Not a week passed that someone wouldn't look at her and say, 'What kind of a dog is that?' Or, 'Is that a dingo?' " he wrote.
"She had that look. She had confidence too - never had any self-esteem issues, always knew exactly who she was and why she was here."
No pet is too small for a eulogy.
There's Goldie, an unassuming goldfish, gone belly up in her tank, and Chryseis, a bath-loving rat who also enjoyed soiling her white coat with orange strings of spaghetti.
"RIP Chryseis, I know you are up there somewhere climbing up the back of God's refrigerator or jumping on St. Peter's pants leg or stealing food from Moses," blogged her owner.
Not inspired? Other websites offer tips on penning a pet eulogy to gain closure.
The script should include "the day you brought him home" and "the time he was naughty," as well as his character, be it "forgiving, whimsical or droll."
Have you ever eulogized a pet? Did it help the grieving process? How did others respond?
Zosia Bielski