If eating cold, leftover pizza for breakfast makes you feel like you're ready to give up on life, it's time to move to Dayton, Ohio.
The city is home to the only 24-hour Domino's Pizza and the proprietor in question thinks having the same menu available all day and night is a cop-out.
Enter the newly released breakfast pizza. The pie comes loaded with eggs, cheese and your choice of other ingredients you're used to seeing in omelettes or as sides to your toast: sausage, jalapenos, green peppers, ham, bacon and onions.
It's about time a pizza joint stepped into the bizarre fast-food breakfast race.
Here are our three picks for early morning noshing that only a truly desperate, hungover sap should order from the drive-through:
1) McDonald's McGriddles
You'll never have to choose between sweet and savoury for breakfast again. This dining curiosity is a sandwich of bacon, egg and cheese … sandwiched between two pancakes injected with maple flavouring. As you're chowing down this delicacy, know that the golden arches - embossed onto the pancakes - will literally be going down your gullet, too.
2) Burger King's French toast sticks
For centuries we've struggled with the messy affair that is eating French toast: there's the syrup, the utensils, the dripping. There has to be an easier way! Fortunately, the geniuses at BK had the good sense to take sticks of French toast, cover them in batter and deep fry the heck out of them. What better way to start the day than with 390 calories and 440 milligrams of salt in convenient stick form! (Maple syrup included for dipping purposes.)
3) Chick-Fil-A's Chick-n-Minis
Our American neighbours say this is the best fried chicken chain in the country. It has the most extensive breakfast menu of any chicken place we've ever seen - we'll give it that much. The crown jewels of its morning offerings are the mini yeast buns that provide shelter to chicken nuggets. It's all flavoured with America's favourite breakfast condiment: honey-butter spread.