News

LOST, KID EDITION

Boy V. Wild

So you're thinking about taking your kid camping this summer, but are worried he'll get lost in the woods and become a coyote's lunch. How about training him with a little wilderness reality television first? It sure helped Grayson Wynne, a nine-year-old from Utah, after he was separated from his family on a camping trip last weekend, the Associated Press reports. Keeping his cool, Grayson survived 18 hours alone in the forest by recalling tips from his favourite adventure reality show, Man vs. Wild. Panicked but undefeated, the Salt Lake City-area boy tore up his yellow slicker and marked a trail with the little bits, knowing they would help searchers find him. He also littered in the woods, dropping a granola bar wrapper in his wake (something Bear Grylls, host of the Discovery channel show, would likely tsk tsk but will perhaps let slide this time around). And it's no wonder the little guy got lost. He was camping with 15 other family members in Daggett County's Spirit Lake trailhead; a mass of loved ones who didn't tell him they were stopping to tighten one of the horses' saddles. The little guy continued along the trail, completely oblivious. Now we bet they're all fighting over who gets to buy him a new yellow raincoat.

DIRTY DOG TRICK / DUPED BY DAD

$500: The amount of cash (U.S.) a wimpy Washington dad is offering anyone willing to play "the villain" and lure a "terror" of a cocker spaniel away from his cute, unsuspecting children. Too spineless to break the news that Skittles must go, this dad is proposing an elaborate scheme in which he pays an actor to play a dog walker who accidentally lets the beloved pet run away. This way it's the dog walker's fault for losing Skittles, a dog inherited from a deceased aunt, and dad looks completely innocent. Ingenious! "I have found a good home for the dog, and just need someone to transport the dog, and play the villain," he wrote in his Craigslist ad. "This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry." The actor will be earning the hefty wad of cash - dad wants the "dog walker" to break the news to the children, too. "At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic, their [sic] girls."

All while dad stands back, watches and maniacally rubs his hands together.

EARLY ADOPTERS / SANDBOX CELLPHONE

"Where exactly is your four-year-old going on their own that you might need to call them?"

- A fair question posed last week by odd-news website News.lite.com in a report on a toy-like cellphone for kids coming soon to British shops. Made by Firefly Mobile, the phone has a colour LCD screen, plenty of games and two big picture buttons - one for mom and one for dad (thank goodness there isn't one for the playgroup boyfriend).