Daydreaming of languid poolside lounging in the latest Balenciaga bikini? Most of us eventually wake to the reality that we've been retaining water since, oh, season one of Mad Men. One & Only Ocean Club Spa's signature wrap features a detoxifying blend of juniper and lemon to decongest the body's systems, smoothing charcuterie-fuelled thigh dimples and flushing stagnant fluid. The therapist preps my skin with a brisk dry brushing and I settle into a thermal cocoon as the rich marine algae bask draws out impurities. I reach semi-conscious bliss as she pirouettes her fingers across my temples, performing a tailored Elemis facial. The afterglow leaves me singing in the rain shower - Shakira's Hips Don't Lie, truth be told - washing my inhibitions down the drain along with the sea mud. The treatment concludes with a decadent 80-minute Balinese massage of long, therapeutic strokes.
While I hardly expect an overhaul of my backside, the treatment delivers inspiring results. My stubborn orange-peel patches look more taut tangerine than pocked Valencia. The internal upside? The flushing of cellular interstitial fluid built up because of lack of exercise, aging or poor diet.
The SpaSet upon an immaculate stretch of alabaster sand and azure Atlantic tides, the impeccably groomed One & Only Ocean Club Bahamas was ready for its close-up long before Daniel Craig's James Bond checked into Villa 1085 in the remake of Casino Royale. The spa is a major draw, featuring eight private Balinese-inspired open-air villas - think palm-fringed daybeds, aromatic orchids and deep double Jacuzzi baths. The sensual symmetry of such intimate spaces was clearly designed with couples in mind.
One & Only Ocean Club on One Casino Drive, Paradise Island, Bahamas; 954-809-2150; www.oneandonlyresorts.com; 140 minutes for $275.
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