… goes to Alii Kai Catamaran, an operator of dinner cruises in Honolulu. After a staff member mistakenly added vodka to an orange juice order, a passenger began to mumble, run, stumble and act wildly. Servers, who were notified of the incident, asked the passenger’s party not to make a fuss for fear of disturbing others on board. The out-of-control drunk, by the way, was a three-year-old boy accompanied by his parents. The company later apologized to the family and refunded the cost of the cruise.
The What the Blazes Award
… goes to Colin Jones, 24, whose prank aboard a Monarch airlines flight led to an emergency landing. One of a group of English friends en route to a bachelor party in Majorca, Jones tried to liven things up with a practical joke. Smelling smoke, the flight crew investigated. They discovered that Jones had singed a friend’s hair by setting it on fire. He was charged with negligence likely to endanger an aircraft.
The Brew-Ha-Ha Award
… goes to Lateisha El, a TSA screener at New York’s JFK International Airport. She was chatting with colleagues at her work post when an off-duty American Airlines pilot walked by and asked the group to clean up their language. After El gave him a cursing, the pilot tried to grab her name tag. She responded by drenching him with a cup of steaming hot coffee. That was grounds enough to get her arrested.
The All the President’s Men and Ladies Award
… goes to U.S. Secret Service agents and military personnel who took time to sample the local nightlife while accompanying President Barack Obama to the Summit of the Americas in Bogota. The men were put under investigation after allegedly bringing prostitutes back to the President’s hotel. “We let the boss down,” said Army Gen. Martin Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. “We’re embarrassed by what occurred in Colombia, though we’re not sure exactly what it is.”
The Clothes Don’t Make the Man Award
… goes to John E. Brennan, a high-tech consultant based in Oregon. Planning to fly to San Jose, Calif., on business, Brennan became fed up with pat-downs and body scans at airport security. He stripped to the buff and was promptly charged with exposing himself in public. Fortunately, his trial took place in Portland, where the World Naked Bike Ride is a major annual event. A sympathetic judge accepted his argument that nudity was a legitimate form of protest. Case dismissed.
The Biting the Hand that Hides It Award
… goes to the owner of a Kuwaiti reptile shop who boarded an Egyptair flight carrying a deadly Egyptian cobra concealed in a carry-on bag. All went well until the snake bit his hand during the flight. As the man screamed and tried to control it, the cobra started slithering under the seats. The pilot was forced to make an emergency landing. Authorities confiscated the snake. The man was taken for treatment.
The Good Help is Hard to Find Award
… goes to Mubarak Hamad, a billionaire Bahraini prince who was already intoxicated when he boarded his morning British Airways flight at Heathrow. Furious that the service at his first-class seat didn’t meet his expectations, he stormed the cockpit to complain to the captain. When he refused to sit down and stop shouting, police had to be summoned. Armed with Taser guns, they marched him off the plane.
The No Such Thing as Bad Publicity Award