What would you rather do: Teach your son about the importance of wearing a condom or coach him on how to budget his hard-earned dough?
In the bevy of tough chats parents have with their children, the sex one is definitely a doozy. But discussing the ins and outs of money and personal finance turns out to be one of the most cringe-worthy parenting topics, a new survey suggests.
The Angus Reid Strategies poll of 624 Canadian parents reveals that over all, moms and dads feel better prepared to discuss sex, drugs and alcohol than to broach the topic of finances – a finding that shines a light on the real state of adult financial literacy, experts say.
“I think parents just feel very uncomfortable with the material,” says Peter Aceto, president and chief executive officer of ING Direct, which commissioned the survey. “I think they lack confidence in whether they even understand finances well enough for themselves, let alone to teach it to their children.”
The boomer generation … grew up with good tennis lessons, good music lessons, but not very good financial coaching. I think now that parents really want their own kids to be more thoughtful about it, it's hard to know where to begin on such a big subject. — Joline Godfrey
The findings show the country's squeamishness about financial conversations, says Steve Garmaise, associate director with Foundation for the Advancement of Investor Rights.
“Most Canadians and most parents are fairly ignorant about financial matters … and would rather hand it off to someone else,” he says.
In a lot of ways, the sex talk is a simpler, quicker and more expected conversation to have with the kids, says Tom Hamza, president of the Investor Education Fund, which is financed by the Ontario Securities Commission.
Parents obviously have knowledge in that area, whereas talking about money can open them up to scrutiny. It can also be embarrassing, especially for those who dread tearing open the bills at the end of the month, Mr. Hamza adds.
“I bet a lot of people look back at their mistakes and smirk at them, on the sex side. On the financial side, they probably look at their decisions and they shudder, particularly if they started saving for retirement really late or they're in debt or they have some looming financial issue or risk.”
Money talks also take time – something all parents are in want of these days. A birds-and-the-bees chat can be done in a “two-minute, yet stunningly awkward” conversation, Mr. Hamza says, while financial management discussions can take numerous sit-down sessions or the ability to turn regular monetary events into learning opportunities.
And still another reason many parents bristle is because their own parents didn't discuss dough with them, says Joline Godfrey, the founder and CEO of Independent Means, a U.S.-based organization that teaches financial literacy to kids and parents.
“The boomer generation … grew up with good tennis lessons, good music lessons, but not very good financial coaching,” she says. “I think now that parents really want their own kids to be more thoughtful about it, it's hard to know where to begin on such a big subject.”
Adding to the frustration of limited know-how is the pressure to keep kids up to date with all the fancy stuff their peers have, says Gary Rabbior, president of the Canadian Foundation for Economic Education. Money talks also require using the word “no.”
“Whenever you make a decision about money, you're learning about giving up…,” he says. “There's a hesitation at times [on the part of parents] to take advantage of the learning opportunities because they don't want to go into the denial process.”
